Bar Belle Blog is Moving!!

The fine folks at LEO have finally put down their drinks long enough to create a new and improved website -- so now all of our blogs will link directly off the site. This means that I'll be taking this BlogSpot blog down in a week. So just change your Bookmark link to the new link, and we'll resume the party.

Here's the new site: barbelle.leoweekly.com

And remember, we're still working out the kinks ... so don't bitch right away. I've got one use for wine ... and that's for drinking.

Today's Reason To Drink

Found out the other night that chewing Tums does not mask the smell of alcohol on your breath. Go figure.

Something to do this weekend! Livin' on the Fringe ...

Today's Reason To Drink

I hear there's going to be an interesting scene tonight at Fuzion (1335 Story Ave.). They're starting a new DJ night for the ladies. Maybe see you there?

Today's Reason To Drink

Forgot to pack underwear in my gym bag this morning. Doh! I'm only slightly mildly disturbed.

Today's Reason To Drink

Sarah Palin is crazy. I'm going to form a "Saras Against Sarah" campaign.

Today's Reason To Drink

Let's make up a drinking game to go along with tonight's debate. What shall it be? Every time Palin says something absolutely ridiculous, take a shot of tequila? If that's the case, you'll be drunk by 8:22.

Today's Reason To Drink

It was just a tad bit too cold this morning to wear sandals ... which is one of the first signs that fall has arrived.

Things to love about fall:

Bloody Marys
Huber Winery's Spiced Apple wine
The smell and crunch of leaves
Football on lazy Saturday and Sunday afternoons
New episodes of TV shows
My birthday
Halloween
Bonfires and smores
Flannel sheets and thicker blankets
Long sleeves
Sweatshirts
Hot chocolate with marshmallows
Chili Cookoffs

Today's Reason To Drink

Today is International Passion Day. Unfortunately, I won't be partaking.

Today's Reason To Drink

For the record, no one bailed me out when my tab went over $100 at O'Shea's one time. Where was the Federal Bail-Out then?

Today's Reason To Drink

Fridays are God's way of saying, "Bear with me."

Today's Reason To Drink

Somebody was smoking with my lungs last night! Unacceptable!

Bar Belle from 9/24/08 LEO Weekly

Ten Commandments of Drinking

BY SARA HAVENS

While last Saturday’s Gettin’ Drunky in Kentucky was a success (read: we think most of the 50 or so walkers made it to Bearno’s in one piece), I violated some major rules when it comes to drinking, causing a week of shame, regret and a sense of overall douchebaginess. So I thought I’d create the Ten Commandments of Drinking so that others will not suffer the same fate. So that others will not awaken to a sent-message folder a mile long. So that others won’t have to look friends in the face and try to explain why they left “Eat a dick!” on their voicemail at 3 a.m. I think these should be posted in every watering hole across the nation. Read and obey, my drinking disciples.

1) Thou shalt have no other texts after midnight.

2) Thou shalt not act a fool in public — which includes but is not limited to foolish dancing (i.e. “The Running Man” or kicking in any fashion), face-chugging those thou hast no relations with and balancing beer bottles on thy head.

3) Thou shalt not take the name of the City Scoot in vain, for City Scoot will get you home without having to waketh up next to a stranger.

4) Remember: beer before liquor never sicker, to keep it holy.

5) Honor thy bartender and thy bouncer.

6) Thou shalt not kill a drink in less than 10 minutes.

7) Thou shalt not commit drunk dialing, even if it’s to friends on the West Coast. Oh, and I guess don’t commit adultery either.

8) Thou shalt not steal someone else’s drink or seat at the bar.

9) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor by speaking on off-limit topics like politics, religion and “Gossip Girl” when in the confines of a bar.

10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s beer, date or general sense of happiness and contentment. But if they’re being loud, thou can slap them.

Sara will see you in hell. Drop her a line at shavens@leoweekly.com

Today's Reason To Drink

My coffee tastes like poopy-shit.

Today's Reason To Drink

Tired of dancing by yourself? I tried to get into the groove once but lost my footing.

Today's Reason To Drink

I've never been so happy to see a flashing time on my microwave. Power and stability were restored last night at mi casa ... after seven long days without.

Today's Reason To Drink

What is a hipster? Define it.

Today's Reason To Drink

I was wondering why I hadn't heard from my friends all week ... then news slowly started to trickle in that last Saturday night while I was highly intoxicated I allegedly went through just about every number in my phone and left weird, sometimes mean, totally random texts and/or voice mails and, in true idiot fashion, ended each one with "Eat a dick." Classy, eh? Oh, and it didn't stop at the phone. Turns out when I got home, I drunk MySpaced and Facebooked.

I have only myself to blame ... and that double shot at Wick's.

Here's to laying low. And begging forgiveness.

Listen up, betch — Kelly dishes out fashion advice

BY SARA HAVENS
shavens@leoweekly.com

I got a few minutes with Kelly, so we had to talk shoes, of course. Here’s a list of 12 — some that suck and some that rule.

Reebok Cross-Trainers: Suck!

Tretorns: Rule!

Old-school Adidas, black and white striped: Rule!

Ironic hipster Nikes that look like they’re from 1984 but were actually made last week in China: Suck! Obvious suck!

Manolo Blahniks: Rule!

Boots with the furrrr: I’ll go with rule!

Jimmy Choos: Rule!

Birkenstocks: Suck! Unless you’re Aunt Susan, then they rule!

High-top pink Converse: Rule!

Jellies: Rule!

Crocs: Suck!

The standard flip-flop: I’m gonna go with rule, only because sometimes that’s all you feel like putting on. Especially at the beach. And the beach rules!

What music do you like?
I like Peaches because she’s rad.

Can I borrow that top?
Absolutely, but I’m not wearing one now.

•••

See Kelly when she opens for Margaret Cho on Saturday, Sept. 20. Here are the details:

Margaret Cho w/ Liam Sullivan (and Kelly)
Saturday, Sept. 20
Louisville Palace
625 S. Fourth St.
361-3100
$29.50-$42.50; 8 p.m.

Today's Reason To Drink

As your life is spiraling out of control, is it bad that you're watching it from the sidelines while sipping on a glass of Merlot?

Today's Reason To Drink

Because it's fun to drink by candlelight?

Today's Reason To Drink

No electricity. No Internet. No TV. Can't do laundry. Can't watch movies. Can't make food. I can at least open a bottle of wine.

Last Reminder

Today's Reason To Drink

Do you ever wake up feeling like you did something really bad the night before ... but at the moment you aren't sure what it is? It's like the guilt shows up before the memory.

Bar Belle from 9/10/08 LEO Weekly

BY SARA HAVENS

Gettin’ Drunky in KY

This year, the annual Gettin’ Drunky in Kentucky pub crawl turns 5. As one of its founders (parents?), it makes me proud to see my baby all grown up. Well, he still stumbles and drools from time to time, but if you point him in the right direction, he’ll make it there, give or take a few spills.

I know there’s a shit-ton happening this weekend. Trust me when I say you’ll have the most fun if you join us on our march down Baxter and Bardstown (from Outlook Inn to Bearno’s Highlands … that’s 14 bars, Math Wiz) in the name of no cover charges.

Here’s the 411: How much? — Free, unless you want a T-shirt ($10). When? — Saturday, Sept. 13, 7 p.m., Outlook Inn (916 Baxter Ave.). Why? — Because you believe you can actually out-drink me, and I’d like to prove you wrong … or take you home.

In honor of our fifth anniversary, I wanted to say something nice about each bar we stumble into along our journey. Thanks for putting up with us, if even for 15 minutes.

Outlook Inn — Diggin’ the remodeling. Still love your Bloody Marys.

Flanagan’s — You’ve got my Blueberry Ale on tap, sweet Jesus. Love tryin’ your new beers on Thursdays.

Dublin Cellar — Still remember those free Irish Car Bombs.

Molly Malone’s — Your outside patio is heaven on a hot day.

O’Shea’s — Your cheese balls are the bomb — as are your beer selection and waitstaff.

Versatile — Looking forward to meeting you.

Wick’s — Thanks for keeping prices low and beer cold.

Cahoots — Keep it dark, boys. Keep it cool.

BW3’s — Spicy Garlic is the best.

Akiko’s — I sang. I sucked. I conquered.

NV Tavern — Jo makes the best bourbon sweet teas! Have ’em ready, girl.

Highlands Taproom — Where’d my mug go?

The Back Door — My second home. Dibs on the couch.

Bearno’s Highlands — Land ahoy! Good ’za, good beer.

I suggest training now … get that tolerance in shape! Questions? E-mail me at shavens@leoweekly.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Bad day ... and it's not even 11 a.m. yet.

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, we didn't get vaporized today ... so I have this hangover for nothing! Damn.

Today's Reason To Drink

Were you aware that this could be the last day on Earth? Click here for details.

So, what do you say about partying like it's 1999 and the end of the world as we know it? I guess I basically exercised for nothing this morning. And that doughnut I passed up ... damn! Guess we'll never make it to the pub crawl this weekend. Or to see if 90210 actually makes it to another season.

I love you all! Anyone got a smoke?

6 days and counting ...

Today's Reason To Drink

Last night's MTV VMAs made me feel old. What's a Jonas Brother? When did Ashlee Simpson get knocked up? How did Britney get "legend" status? I made it to Pink and then had to go to bed. That's what happens when you're old and lost your promise ring in the '90s.

Today's Reason To Drink

All you need is love ... and if it takes the form of a make-out session in a bathroom, so be it.

Today's Reason To Drink

Couple things going on tonight of interest:

Louisville Homegrown Music Series: Featuring Ben Sollee and Wodka, The Instruction; 7 p.m.; free; Fourth Street Live

and

Singer-songwriter Teneia Sanders at The Pink Door; 10:30 p.m.; free

Today's Reason To Drink

Jon's back in production! I've got three vacation days that I have to use this month! It might rain (my car needs washed)! I like using unnecessary exclamation points!!!!

Today's Reason To Drink

Karma is a bitch.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's September already! Fall is almost here. And my pub crawl is almost here.

(Remember: Sept. 13 ... don't plan anything that night! The bar-hop starts at 7 at Outlook Inn. Details to come.)

Today's Reason To Drink

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?


(wait for it ...)


He was tired of Hall & Oates.

Today's Reason To Drink

A bird shit on one of our interns today. Isn't that a sign of good luck or something? Maybe I'm thinking of rain on your wedding day. Or is that just ironic?

Bar Belle from 8/27/08 LEO Weekly

BY SARA HAVENS

The Face Chug — Everybody’s doing it!

As Bar Belle, it is my duty to keep a blurry eye on trends in the Louisville bar scene. Often I call them out and advise that you steer clear — like drunken texting or Miller Chill. But there’s one activity spreading through the corner taverns in this city that must be addressed and applauded. I’ve been both a perpetrator and victim of this random act — and I must say it’s fun on both sides of the Face Chug.

I scoured the states and located the man responsible for regionalizing the Face Chug. He’s a Louisville native now living on the West Coast. For obvious reasons, LEO Weekly has agreed to keep his identity a secret. He says the Face Chug was invented at Dartmouth College in 2003, and that although there are many variations, “in its purest form, it involves grabbing the collar of a fellow bar patron or bystander and chugging your beer closely in his or her face. Spilling on the recipient is acceptable and, at times, even encouraged.”

Mr. F-C has performed the act roughly 30 to 40 times over the last two years to an array of responses — from high-fives to eye-rolls, and even some re-chug challenges. “I would not recommend doing it to complete strangers,” he advises, “as the act could easily be misinterpreted.” So no Face Chugging on the first date? “I wouldn’t recommend using it as a first move, especially if you are trying to be taken seriously by the recipient. But it could potentially be a conversation starter if the instigator is not extremely clever or coherent.”

I tried it out last weekend on friends and acquaintances and noticed that while men seem to accept and embrace Face Chugging, women take longer to warm up to it. I’d also encourage Face Chugging only with bottles or cans — unless, of course, you’re into F-Cing yourself. I’m not judging.

Today's Reason To Drink

Waterfront Wednesday -- be there!

When: tonight, 6 p.m.
Where: Waterfront Park, Harbor Lawn (over near Slugger Field)
Who: See Peoples, Ben Sollee and VHS or Beta
How Much: Free!
Why: Because it's good music, and I'll be there bartending, and I want your tips!
To What Extent: Um ... what?

Today's Reason To Drink

Who would win in a fight -- Lo or Audrina? I'm rooting for Audrina.

Two things finally occurred to me last night when I was watching "The Hills" --

1) Why am I watching "The Hills"? and ...

2) Who is Lauren to have so much power and control over her friends? Why does everyone want to be her friend and deal with all the drama that comes with it? I have no drama in my life, and no one wants to be my friend! Maybe I need some TV cameras following me around ... or maybe I should start a clothing line (Belle Briefs) ... or maybe I should just treat everyone like shit and watch them flock to wipe my ass.

Today's Reason To Drink

Who would win in a fight -- Pat Benatar or Joan Jett?

Today's Reason To Drink

Maybe it's a good thing you don't remember what you say or do when you're drunk.

I'm a deck.

I agree that you make a deal with the devil whenever you consume alcohol. You have to decide for yourself if a night's pleasure is worth the morning's rot. Usually, pleasure always wins, and you just suffer through the morning until you coast into lunch.

But certain foods hinder the next-day healing process ... you know it, yet you still eat it. "Maybe this time these cheese fries will do me right," you think to yourself as you shove em down. And then your body tells you the truth the next day. And your body always tells the truth. For me, it's the food at BW3's and The Back Door. Yummy, delicious, fried-beyond-belief food. But I just can't do it anymore. I won't do it. I shant do it. And don't try to tempt me, even with a dollop of spicy garlic sauce. Just say no!

Anyone got any Tums?

Today's Reason To Drink

Staff Meeting ... in five minutes! Spike the coffee!

Today's Reason To Drink

Because penguins can't fly.

Today's Reason To Drink

Why's everyone so serious? Lighten up already. Have a drink, it'll do you good.

Today's Reason To Drink

Look who I met, bitches! This is not only today's reason to drink, it's this month's reason to drink.

At nearly 50, Joan Jett still rocks hard.

(Please don't laugh at my attempt to be punk. Pink hair, really?) (Also pictured and keeping it way more cooler than I, my friends Leslie and Megan.)

Today's Reason To Drink

I predict some sweet, sweet Dundee Dip in my future. Heaven in a bowl.

Call me crazy, but I also have a taste for Bud Light Lime -- don't laugh! Seriously, it's way better than that Miller Chill crap. It's refreshing. And zesty.

I'm just glad it's Friday. Weekdays are dumb.

Today's Reason To Drink

In the words of Joan Jett, "You've got nuthin' to lose, you don't lose when you lose fake friends."

Unfortunately, I know exactly what she's talking about.

Anyone not going to the My Morning Jacket show Saturday night? Joan Jett plays a free concert at the Fair.

Bar Belle from 8/13/08 LEO Weekly

Party Patrol

BY SARA HAVENS

Up All Night Party — Aug. 15
Bluegrass Brewing Company is being naughty again. The coffee-tinged brew they concocted last year with Heine Bros. went over so well, they’re at it again — essentially taking the best beverage of the morning and mixing it with the best beverage ever to create an oatmeal stout brewed with a touch of fair-trade, organic coffee. To celebrate the first tapping of the new brew, BBC in St. Matthews is throwing the Up All Night party Friday starting at 3 p.m. Festivities include games and live music, and pajama-clad employees will serve breakfast all evening.

Volksfest 2008 — Aug. 23
I’ve heard the yesteryear stories of Louisville’s Oktoberfest — a party that would literally shut down parts of Main Street. I’ve heard the tales of the dancing, drinking and debauchery that attracted thousands into downtown. Not sure what ever happened to it, and there’s a smaller version of it in October on Fourth Street, but I recently came across a listing for the first-ever Volksfest next Saturday. BBC and New Albanian Brewing Co. are partnering up for this party that’ll shut down Clay Street between Main and Market. There’ll be German-style grub to go along with a strong lineup of Oktoberfest brews. The free shindig starts at 2 p.m. and continues till midnight.

Gettin’ Drunky in KY Pub Crawl — Sept. 13
Shameless self-promotion: Mark your calendars for my fifth annual pub crawl, which stumbles through the Highlands in the reverse direction of the Bambi Walk. Details to come, but kickoff, as always, is 7 p.m. at the Outlook Inn.

Have you tried the Blueberry Ale at O’Shea’s or Flanagan’s? It’s heaven in a pint. Except you can see it. And taste it. And swallow it. And that, my friends, is something to believe in. Drop me a line at shavens@leoweekly.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Guess what ... these dudes think they've found a real body of Big Foot! Could it be? Check it out here:

www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/ga-gorilla-pic/

Today's Reason To Drink

I hear there are going to be meteor showers tonight. Do you really need another excuse to drink beer outside?

Today's Reason To Drink

Drink a beer, do a good deed — Head on over to O'Shea's, Flanagan's or Brendan's today. 100% percent of the restaurants' proceeds will benefit Erica Hughes, the toddler who was shot multiple times in May of 2006. Today she is living with her grandparents (her mother did not survive the attack). Erica will be having her 5th birthday party tonight in the courtyard of O’Shea’s.

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, I had my fill of $1 beers last night. It's almost as bad as an open bar ... you're trying to pack in as many as you can in a limited time ... I was passed out by 9:30 p.m. Lesson learned. Yes, they're a buck. But pace yourself, woman!

Today's Reason To Drink

It's the perfect day for a little baseball, don't you think? The Bats have a home game tonight ... which means the $1 beer happy hour is on! 5:30-7 p.m. I hear The Blue Umbrellas are playing. Even better. Good music, good food (hot dogs!) and cheap beer ... is there anything better? Maybe free beer ... so who's got the first round?

Today's Reason To Drink

I kissed a squirrel and I liked it. Taste of her nutty chapstick. It felt so wrong, it felt so right ...

Weird.

A very weird thing just happened. And while it has nothing to do with drinking, it just may drive me to drink to ponder its meaning. I'll spare you the details, but I have this one TV show I love. It's been on for 5 seasons, but my favorites were 1 and 2 ... and part of 3 until they killed off my favorite character. Anyway, I just downloaded a song from 3 where my two favorite characters breakup. It's depressing, yes. But I need something sad and somber to help me wallow in self-pity. Anyway, I threw it into my "Current Favs" folder on iTunes, which now contains 59 songs. Here's the weird thing -- it's set on random. And the very next song that came on was also from this TV show, also dealing with the same couple, but it was back in season 2 when they first got together and everything was roses.

So what does it mean? Probably nothing, right? I listen to a depressing song about my favorite TV couple, and immediately following comes a song about when they first got together. I think it's a sign for hope. I'm not currently in a relationship, so I'm not sure how it applies to me specifically, but you never know. Maybe it's saying that, yes, life is hard and sad and depressing ... but there are also memories of good times we'll always have and make. Too cheesy?

Or it could be just a total coincidence and I'm grasping at karmic straws. I must ponder this one over a glass or two of bourbon.

Today's Reason To Drink

I carried a watermelon.

Today's Reason To Drink

Schlitz has returned! Apparently, Pabst Brewing Co. in Milwaukee is bringing back Schlitz beer. I'm not too familiar with the nostalgic beer, but I've heard stories both good and bad. Pop the top and let's give it a whirl!

Today's Reason To Drink

Anyone going to the Dave Matthews/Willie Nelson concert tonight? It's going to be hot. Not Paris Hilton hot, but hot hot.

Today's Reason To Drink

The parental units are coming in tonight to help me find the source of a leak. Which means no Back Door. And no Pink Door. Arg.

Bar Belle from 7/30/08 LEO Weekly

Beer and butterflies ...

BY SARA HAVENS

Sometimes, sitting at your favorite bar and knocking back a few beers can get boring. So one late evening three years ago, a friend and I came up with the Dundee Tavern Challenge. We were about six beers in, twiddling our thumbs, staring at the 20 taps that towered above. “Wonder how long it’d take to drink one beer from each tap,” I mumbled. “I bet if we split it, we could do it in one night,” she challenged. And so it began, our yearly ritual of drinking all 20 beers (10 each) on draft at the Dundee Tavern. This year we had six participants, with only four finishing and two ending the night at Twig & Leaf.

On paper, 10 beers doesn’t sound intimidating. But these are pints, and a majority are imported, heavy beers — like Rogue Dead Guy, Hefeweizen and Shiner Bock. My tolerance is definitely something I take pride in, but by beer four, let’s just say I was feeling it. I documented the experience this year with a digital recorder, hoping that our many discussions would lead to interesting revelations or musings about world events. Instead, what I transcribed Monday morning included an incoherent discussion on Tori Spelling and dick jokes.

One participant, who we’ll call C-Town, even brought an “activity” to keep us occupied. She recently attended a Life Coach seminar at a friend’s house and figured it would be fun to share her therapeutic knowledge with a bunch of drunks. The first task was picking out an “affirmation” that best applied to you. It wasn’t three beers later that we decided to add the phrase “in bed” after our affirmations. Mine: “People love me for who I am … in bed.” Someone else’s: “My family honors me, loves me and respects me … in bed.” We pretty much ended the Life Coaching after task 2, which involved drawing a butterfly that resembled yourself.

The night’s activities progressively got hazier as the beers went down. Alls I know is I finished. And I’m now on a hiatus from beer.

What color is the sky in your butterfly’s world? E-mail me at shavens@leoweekly.com or go to leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Once again, I'll be bartending at Waterfront Wednesday tonight. The lineup includes the Shake Anderson Band, Danielia Cotton and Dave Barnes. It's free, so unless it rains, you have no excuse not to be there (and tip me).

Today's Reason To Drink

So check this out ... you can order the world's largest beer at the Heartland Brewery in New York. The "Beer Goddess" pilsner is a 3-liter glass that holds about eight bottles worth of beer. Just imagine how warm the beer would be when you finally get to the bottom. Another downside: It's a steep $49, and you don't even get to keep the glass! Bummer.

Top Party Schools - OU is No. 5!

Well, well. Once again, my college made the Top 10 list of biggest party schools. It brings a tear to my eye. Like a proud mamma watchin' her baby do his first keg stand.

The following is a list of the top party schools in the nation, according to the Princeton Review's annual survey.

1. University of Florida, Gainesville, Fla.

2. University of Mississippi, University, Miss.

3. Penn State University, University Park, Pa.

4. West Virginia University, Morgantown, W.Va.

5. Ohio University, Athens, Ohio

6. Randolph-Macon College, Ashland, Va.

7. University of Georgia, Athens, Ga.

8. University of Texas, Austin, Texas

9. University of California-Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, Calif.

10. Florida State University, Tallahassee, Fla.

11. University of New Hampshire, Durham, N.H.

12. University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa

13. University of Colorado, Boulder, Co.

14. Indiana University, Bloomington, Ind.

15. Tulane University, New Orleans, La.

16. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Urbana, Ill.

17. Arizona State University, Tempe, Ariz.

18. University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Tenn.

19. University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Ala.

20. Loyola University-New Orleans, New Orleans, La.

Today's Reason To Drink

I've got a mosquito bite on my neck that resembles a hickey. If only it was a hickey ...

Today's Reason To Drink

You can Twitter my Yahoo, but don't forget about the Google.

Today's Reason To Drink

So I hear there's a new Irish pub going in at Fourth Street Live. It appears to be part of a chain called Ri Ra and will open this fall. Although I'm always weary of chains, the good news is they're going to have a once-a-week live music night featuring local and national acts. Deal.

Today's Reason To Drink

Friends don't let friends drink white zinfandel.

Today's Reason To Drink

The crushed ice at the Monkey Wrench is the bomb. Makes mixed drinks taste even better ... especially gin & tonics and margaritas.

Today's Reason To Drink

Training for the 4th annual Dundee Challenge begins today. On Friday, as a team of two people, we will drink one pint of every tap at Dundee Tavern. There are 20 taps. 10 beers each. Bring it on. Anyone want to join?

Today's Reason To Drink

Just about to begin a roadtrip with the parents for 5 hours. iPod check. One, two. One, two.

Today's Reason To Drink

Beer is food.
Beer is love.
Beer is a best friend.
Beer is never having to say you're sorry.
Beer is your mom.
Beer is Batman.
Beer is the newly-single Sarah Silverman.
Beer is good.
Beer is coffee.
Beer is all-knowing.

Today's Reason To Drink

Say you're due to go out of town this weekend for a cousin's wedding. And you gotta leave on Thursday. Would that technically make tonight a "Friday" in the eyes of the Going-Out Gods?

Bar Belle from 7/16/08 LEO Weekly

You might be hungover if …

BY SARA HAVENS

•After 35 minutes, you still can’t find that damn little coffee guy in The Coffee News.

•You wake up with your clothes still on, contacts still in, surrounded by Taco Bell wrappers.

•You’d choose a glass of water over a bottle of Grey Goose.

•You can’t form compound sentences.

•Conjugating verbs is out of the question.

•By the time you compose yourself and prepare to enter the outside world, it’s already nighttime.

•The numbers on your alarm clock are way too bright.

•You utter, and seriously believe, the following four words: I’m. Never. Drinking. Again.

•You experience PTSD-like flashbacks of the previous night’s debauchery throughout the day.

•After checking your phone’s outgoing messages, you experience deep text regret.

•You can’t get your contacts out because your hands are shaking.

•You believe the only cure is a fountain Coke from McDonald’s.

•You know you should feel embarrassed, but you’re not sure why.

•Your ankle is swollen and your pride is bruised.

•You think perhaps busting out the running man while dancing on the platform at Connections may not have been the best idea of the night (see previous entry).

•You make a list of hangover symptoms for your column that’s due in an hour.


All-Star Cocktail

Something major is happening at Slugger Field tonight, and they’re naming a drink after it. The Triple-A All Star Game begins at 7:05 p.m. The “All-Star Cocktail,” the event’s signature drink, consists of Old Forester bourbon (ironically first bottled in 1870, the same year pro baseball began), lemonade and orange juice and garnished with a cherry. Now you’ve piqued my interest! Let’s play ball.

E-mail shavens@leoweekly.com or go to leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

If you drink your old beer, you can buy new beer. And speaking of new beer -- the Blueberry Ale on tap at Flanagan's is ggrrreeeaaatttt, as Tony the Tiger would say.

Bud goes Belgian?

Anheuser-Busch was sold yesterday to Belgian brewer InBev for $52 billion. That's a big chunk of change. So does this mean it'll no longer be American-made? What's going to be St. Louis' claim to fame? What's for sale next? Baseball? Cherry pie? Madonna?

Today's Reason To Drink

If WTF merged with BTW and BYOB, we'd have BTWBYOFBWT.

Today's Reason To Drink

Shit the bed ... I took today off, so I forgot to post a reason to drink. Hopefully all you wankers found your own reason ... I went to the Reba concert at Caesars, er, Horseshoe, so I had a good time, I think. Kelly Clarkson made an appearance ...

Today's Reason To Drink

Almost forgot to post today ... found an all-ABBA channel on my Sirius radio! Howard Stern's on vacation, so this will kindly fill his place. Ballz-deep!

Today's Reason To Drink

In the words of the venerable and venereal Harry Caray: If the moon was made of cheese, would you eat it?

I say, only if the oceans were full of Merlot.

Hey! I'm a Cubs fan and a Bud man. Heyyy!

Happy birthday, Max.

Today's Reason To Drink

Anyone see "The Bachelorette" last night? She picked the wrong tool. The "rad" snowboarder over the yuppie dad? What was she thinking?

Today's Reason To Drink

I got attacked by mean mosquitos this weekend ... and now my legs look like a strawberry patch ... a deadly, itchy, scary strawberry patch.

Today's Reason To Drink

Happy Fourth of July! May the loud, costly fireworks drive home that patriotic spirit. Yeehaw!

Today's Reason To Drink

It's a four-day week, so technically today is like a Friday. Except that I have to bartend down at the Waterfront both tonight and tomorrow. Guess my only night to play is Saturday ... so what's going on?

Bar Belle from 7/2/08 LEO Weekly

Ode to R Place

After nine years of doing time behind the bar at R Place Pub, I’m hanging up my bottle opener and calling it quits. I like bartending, don’t get me wrong. And I love R Place, with its hodgepodge of devoted regulars and loyal staff. I just need my weekends to be free so I can, you know, do more research on the other side of the bar for this column.

When I told some of my regulars a few weeks ago that July 6 would be my last day, they scurried back to their table and quickly concocted this plan: They’d drive from Lyndon to the Highlands to pick me up in the morning and send me home in a taxi that night — after successfully and soberly completing my shift, that is. I was genuinely touched by their offer but reminded them that I have this other job Monday morning that requires me to fire on all cylinders — it’s no good starting the week off with a hangover, I’ve learned.

Here’s what I’ll miss the most: My boys Sled, Scooter, Dennis and Greg who keep me company on boring Sunday afternoons. Phil’s cheese fries. My fellow bartenders, most of whom have been there longer than me, like Leigh and Jen, and the ones who keep it interesting, like Heather, Don, Stacy and Greg. Owners Cres and Scott, who were patient with me from the beginning, when I was the slowest, greenest bartender ever. The savage Steelers fans who fill up the bar during football season (hey, Tom and Rosemary, save me a seat!). And the great gatherings, like the staff Christmas party, riding on the St. Patrick’s float and Thunder Over Louisville (hope I’m still invited).


Magic Hat #9 — good beer

If you like Blue Moon, you gotta try Magic Hat #9. It’s got a little hint of apricot and is tasty and refreshing, especially in this sticky summer weather. I know they have it at O’Shea’s, Flanagan’s, Brendan’s and the Hideaway. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy you a Jagerbomb and make fun of your taste in beer.

The R Place cheese fries are seriously one of Louisville’s best-kept secrets. E-mail me at shavens@leoweekly.com or check out leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

The sun seems really bright today. Is it just me?

Today's Reason To Drink

So I get a call last night at 2am from my drunken friends who are vacationing in Alaska. Apparently they couldn't do the math to figure out that although it may be 10pm and still daylight where they're at, it's 2am here. They called to tell me they were enjoying a Maker's Mark, so all was forgiven.

Today's Reason To Drink

There's a fine line between having a nice buzz and being completely smashed. One minute you're perfectly content watching a drag show, the next minute you're up on a platform dancing with strangers. So now it's Monday and I have a sprained ankle. You can guess how that night went ...

Today's Reason To Drink

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I need a drink
And so do you!

Lame.

Today's Reason To Drink

When's the last time you corn-holed?

Today's Reason To Drink

Waterfront Wednesday is tonight, sons! I'll be bartending as usual. 1) It better not rain. And 2) You drinkswillers better tip me!

As always: It's free. Here's the lineup: Sonny Landreth, The Elders, Katie Herzig

Starts at 5pm and takes place at the Harbor Lawn, which is on the right side of Waterfront Park, opposite of Joe's Crabs.

Today's Reason To Drink

Despite my penchant for unhealthy habits, my teeth are in great shape, so says my dentist. Unfortunately I had to endure the 10-minute torture session of flossing and scraping and polishing ... and they didn't even let me pick the flavor!

If hell involves being strapped in a dentist chair while getting poked and prodded with drills and sharp tools, let me repent now!

Today's Reason To Drink

Mondays are never pleasant. Even when the sun is shining bright and the temperature is a perfect 70 degrees, the landslide of a new work week will bring you down.

Today's Reason To Drink

OK, so I didn't see you at The Fervor show on Wednesday. To tell you the truth, I didn't even make it to watch them play. I mean, I made it to the Pink Door and saw the opening band. But I had to bail before they took the stage. Gotta get some sleep in sometime! Anyway, they're playing again tonight at the Bats game, around 5:30. I'm definitely going to make this one. I swear. And the promise of $2 Rolling Rocks has nothing to do with it.

So join me at the game. And then we can catch the Pride parade roll by afterwards at 8. Now who's going to make sure it stops raining?

Today's Reason To Drink

It's my mom's birthday today! Happy Birthday!

(This isn't a "yo mama" joke, I swear. Or I woulda said it's your mom's birthday, duh.)

Today's Reason To Drink

The Fervor plays tonight at The Pink Door. The Orange Opera opens. It's free and starts at 10 p.m. Ask yourself this: Do you really need eight hours of sleep? Can't you stay up late just once this week? Sure you can!

Bar Belle from 6/18/08 LEO Weekly

BY SARA HAVENS

Vegas vacation
Vegas is my kind of city — with free drinks and 24-hour buffets, you can’t really go wrong, unless you actually go to gamble. I’m one of those people who screw the system, but I’m OK with it. I can sleep at night. I’ll stick $10 in a machine just as the waitress is passing, get my free cocktail and then cash out. I just got back from Vegas last week and am unhappy to report that the casinos are cutting down on free cocktails, it seems. They’ve got fewer waitresses (at least in the nickel-slot areas), some no longer offer top-shelf liquors and some, like the Wynn, don’t offer free cocktails at all.

I still had a fun time, though. Met Elvis, saw Barbra Streisand dealing black jack and ate at the Pink Taco. Really. And when I accidentally set my top-shelf margarita (free Patron tastes even better!) on the video poker “Max Bet” button while sitting at the bar, I actually won $36. So maybe this gambling thing isn’t bad after all.

Sunny and soused!
As the temperature rises, so does my thirst for margaritas. I’d argue it’s one of the best summer drinks, second only to the mojito. Just as a Bloody Mary keeps you warm and fed in the wintertime, a margarita keeps you chilled and stripped of clothing in the summer. There’s a certain risk we all take in ingesting the salty cactus sap that is tequila, and that makes it all the more fun. I recently stumbled (literally) across two upstanding Louisville restaurants that offer great margarita specials, and by great, I mean you can taste tequila. El Mundo (2345 Frankfort Ave., 899-9930) in Clifton offers strong-ass $3 margs on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and Seviche (1538 Bardstown Road, 473-8560) has them for $2 on Sundays. They’re best served on the rocks, with salt and lime. And don’t even ask for flavors, that’s not how we roll. Olé!

Tell me about more drink specials at shavens@leoweekly.com or leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

I'd rather be one toke over the line than six feet under it.

Today's Reason To Drink

My 20-year-old intern Jane says that everyone should drink for her. She works 50 hours a week and can't even enjoy a happy hour.

I remember being 20. I would chase a bottle of Strawberry Hill Boone's Farm with a Zima. And I still thought I was cool. Live and learn.

Today's Reason To Drink

Gotta love stories with happy endings.

Bar Belle from 6/4/08 LEO

BY SARA HAVENS

Redneck Bourbon Tour
So last week, the Louisville Convention & Visitors Bureau came up with the Urban Bourbon Trail — a pub crawl of sorts that encourages thirsty bourbon seekers to journey to eight posh establishments around Louisville, most located downtown. The list includes places like Maker’s Mark Bourbon House, Proof on Main and The Brown Hotel Bar. (You can pick up an official “passport” at Bourbon Barrel Foods inside the Butchertown Market, 1201 Story Ave. See www.JustAddBourbon.com.)

It’s a fun idea and all, but damn, those places are kinda expensive. I like going to bars where a glass of bourbon is cheaper than a gallon of gas. So I’ll make my own redneck version of the Bourbon Trail — shall we start at the Back Door? Then over to Barret Bar? Next let’s go to Old Hickory. Might as well swing by The Pour Haus while we’re in Germantown. Then let’s go out to the Golden Nugget in Hikes Point and hit Creekers, too, while we’re out there. Wanna then journey to D.T.’s on Dixie, and then we can swing by Southern Indiana to Rick’s Double T’s and say hi to Donna D.? OK, there you have it. So who’s driving?


Fest of Ale
(Note: This event is over ... I was a little late in posting this. Sorry.)
Beer snobs have an excuse to gather around their favorite pint this weekend and grumble about politics, world corruption and how much they hate mass-produced, piss-yellow swill (yes, I’m talking about you, Mr. Mug Shots!). They not only have an excuse but a place to flock — Keg Liquors’ 3rd Annual Fest of Ale (Saturday, June 7, 3-7 p.m., $25 advance, $30 door).

Fourteen microbrews will be available for (multiple) samplings, and there’ll be music, food and even a silent auction, although after a round or two, we doubt much will be silent. Keg Liquors is at 617 E. Lewis & Clark Pkwy. in Clarksville, so bribe a DD to tag along. Call (812) 283-3988 for details.

Today's Reason To Drink

Watch out for those margaritas at El Mundo ... they'll sneak up on you and steal your socks.

Today's Reason To Drink

My friend and drinking buddy Megan is leaving for Africa tomorrow for the summer ... or at least most of it. Three cheers to her for seeking adventure and choosing to live life outside her comfort zone. To me, that's going to Phoenix Hill Tavern. To her, that's continent-hopping to better the world. And that, my friends, is balls-deep. Good luck, girl!

Today's Reason To Drink

On the bright side of this gas crisis: If the price of gas continues to climb, I believe the rates of drunk driving will decrease. Who can afford to drive AND drink? I'd rather walk it or TARC it, which will mean a few more beverages for me. Leave the cars behind and hike it to your nearest watering hole! This is Louisville, there's got to be at least one nearby. I'll drink to that.

Today's Reason To Drink

Back from vacation. Swamped and jet-lagged. Figures.

Today's Reason To Drink

Saw David Bowie's son last night ... he's in a cover band. If loving it was wrong, I don't want to be right.

Tonight's agenda: The Pink Taco

Today's Reason To Drink

Look who I ran into in Vegas!

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, made it to Vegas in one piece ... almost missed my flight in Denver because the bar offered me two-for-one shots. Let the gaming begin ...

Today's Reason To Drink

Holy Swamp Donkey — did anyone else get drenched on their way to work? My pants are soaked, my shoes ruined and my hair curled. It's OK -- it's my last day before vacation. I can deal.

Today's Reason To Drink

The stress that comes with taking a vacation -- making sure everything is covered, planning ahead, packing, etc. -- sometimes isn't worth the few days away from the office. Do you agree?

Today's Reason To Drink

It's the Frankfort Avenue Trolley Hop tonight, right?

Hungover and headin' for some Mexican food. Salsa.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's the "Lost" 2-hour season finale tonight. What's going to happen?

Oh, and I ran into Ethan last night at Waterfront Wednesday. He was looking for a Coke. Scared the shit out of me ...

Today's Reason To Drink

It sux being sick. On my way to get antibiotics. It's just a myth about it being bad to mix with alcohol, right? Guess I'll find out.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

Today's Reason To Drink

Happy Memorial Day. Is it going to rain?

Today's Reason To Drink

Anyone going to Abbey Road on the River tonight? Looking forward to it.

Another Reason To Drink Today

Listen to the news much? Check out our news blog.

Today's Reason To Drink

If it rained beer, I would probably have to move to Seattle.

The Bar Belle from 5/21/08 LEO

Late Seating shenanigans

BY SARA HAVENS

I was asked to be a judge for an Iron Bartending competition last Friday at Actors Theatre’s Late Seating series. Basically, it’s an outlet for theater groupies and anyone looking for something different to do in the p.m. that features new work by local artists in performance, music and visual art. It takes place about every two months (check out www.myspace.com/thelateseating); Friday’s show featured the talented and funny members of Le Petomane Theatre Ensemble.

OK, back to me now. I’m not sure how qualified I am to judge a bartending competition, but I do drink a lot and do enjoy drinking for free — so of course I said yes to the offer. My fellow judges were Scott Shuffit, a hilarious dude and one of the founders of the Lebowski Fest, and Tamara Ikenberg, a pop culture writer at The C-J. Our job was to rate three drinks by four bartenders (that makes 12 drinks, if you’re doing the math!) — Ken Pyle of The Rudyard Kipling, Jeni Pittman of Proof, Daniel Duncan of the Nachbar and rookies Sean Daniels and Brian Lillienthal of Actors Theatre who filled a last-minute no-show. The only stipulation was that each drink be made with grapefruit juice.

I must admit that as the judging went on, my scoring and comments became less coherent. I mean, 12 drinks! Come on. They were delicious, being that they were free and all. But in the end, it was Jeni from Proof who we agreed made the tastiest summer drinks — the only one I can recall being some sort of mojito infused with grapefruit juice. After I deemed one of Sean and Brian’s concoctions “unacceptable” for reasons that escape me now, they titled their next creation “Sara’s No-Safe-Haven,” which I rightfully awarded all five points to.

So there you have it. Proof has great drinks. Actors Theatre’s Late Seating is worth checking out. And I can easily be bribed. All in a night’s work.

Check out Sara’s daily reasons to drink at leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Hillary won Kentucky. Does this mean anything? I can't keep up with all the talking heads ... but I think it's cool.

I went to the victory rally last night and snapped this shot. Looks like she was about to say something dirty. What do you think?

Look who I ran into last night ...

K.T. Tunstall! She put on a great show at the Brown Theater.

Today's Reason To Drink

Gotta wait till 6pm to drink today, sons. That's when the polls close. So you might as well go and vote for Hillary. I'm just sayin'.

Today's Reason To Drink

Is a Dorito Italian or Mexican?

Today's Reason To Drink

It's Friday! Has this seemed like the longest week ever or what?

Today's Reason To Drink

LEO is launching two new magazines today -- Boom! and UR Here. You should see them around the LEOs soon -- and they're free as well. We're throwing a party tonight at the Mellwood Arts Center from 5:30-7:30. You're welcome to join.

Today's Reason To Drink

In the Mariah vs. Madonna debate, Madonna wins hands down this time around with Hard Candy. Go buy it. Now.

Today's Reason To Drink

Best line on "The Hills" ever was on last night's season finale. Audrina looked at Lauren and said, "It's not always about you!"

Dag. Oh no she didn't.

Concert Blogs

So I finally wrote the blogs for my two concert road-trips last week. They're up at LEO's Music Blog. Word.

Today's Reason To Drink

Back from vacation and now I have 300 e-mails and a shit-load of work staring back at me. Eat it.

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, got another concert tonight. Tegan & Sara in Cincinnati. Anyone going? I know some people who are already in line. Nuts!

Today's Reason To Drink

Vacation. I'm on it. Nap time!

Bar Belle from 5/7/08 LEO

Mourning Belles

I had no favorite in mind Saturday when I went to the track. Sure, I had heard about Big Brown and Colonel John — but who wants an easy bet? I wanted the longshot, the underdog, the one that could turn my $5 into $500, if that’s even possible.

After patrolling for celebrities and open bars, I settled in at the Jockey Club Suites with my program and mint julep. I scanned the names of the Derby contenders, and there it was — horse No. 5, the astutely named Eight Belles. Was it a sign from the big watering hole in the sky? I thought so, so I plunked my $5 on No. 5 to win.

The gossipy yet mostly happy (read: drunk) bluebloods, who conveniently blocked the wind with their hideous, color-saturated hats, laughed at my No. 5 bet (or perhaps it was the $5). But as my horse pulled away from the group near the last turn, they looked at me like I was Miley Cyrus on a photo shoot — too young to know any better but rich enough to own Switzerland.

Of course, you know how it turned out. Belles finished second, then took a tumble and broke her two front ankles; Belle finished her third julep, then took a stumble and broke her pride. Only one had to be put down.


Drink of the Week

A friend recently turned me on to the virtues of cherry vodka and Diet Coke. It’s low in calories and tastes fabulous — like drinking a Dr. Pepper upside down while circus clowns ransack your apartment looking for a copy of “Romancing the Stone.”

Most bars around here carry several brands of cherry-flavored vodka — UV Red and Effen seem to be the most common. Try it. If you don’t like it, hand it over. You owe me anyway.

Chicken wings make me hot. Tell me where you like them at shavens@leoweekly.com or go to leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Going to Nashville tonight for the Uh Huh Her show. Can't wait! They're my favorite band at the moment. Nashville is always a good time, too. Except the beer is kinda expensive. Shall I bring a flask?

Today's Reason To Drink

Heard the new New Kids on the Block song "Summertime" this morning on Sirius Hits 1. Awesome! Anyone wanna feel 13 again? OK, without the acne, awkwardness and low self-esteem?

Anyone going to the Flyleaf show tonight?

Today's Reason To Drink

Cripes! Steinert's Bar & Grill in New Albany burnt down over the weekend. That's sad, sad news. I've enjoyed many a concert there. I hear they plan to rebuild, which is good. Because they had great pub grub.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's Oaks! And I have the day off! And I'm hungover! And I like ending my sentences with exclamation points!!!! And I'm going to the Goo Goo Dolls show tonight at Fourth Street Live! I heard that! But I'm going for the free beer! Bitches! Have a safe and drunken Derby!!!!!

Oh, and if you've got nothing to do after the race tomorrow, I'll be bartending at R Place Pub starting at 10! Eat it!

Today's Reason To Drink

Look who I met on the Belle of Louisville! Ignore the bad hair -- mine, not his.

Another Reason To Drink Today

The 2008 LEO Nightlife/Bar Guide is out today. Pick up a copy and read it! Pretty please ...

Today's Reason To Drink

The Great Boat Race -- I get to ride on the Belle of Louisville.

The Belle on the Belle.

Is this event fun? Should I go?

Today's Reason To Drink

Let's go see the Velcro Pygmies tonight at the Chow Wagon! Sure it's kinda chilly -- all the more reason to jump around and act the age you were when Poison was on top of the charts. They go on at 8pm. And it's free! I'll be there, Aquanet in tow.

Today's Reason To Drink

Do you really need my blog posts this week? I mean, it's Derby. There're millions of reasons to drink in Louisville this week!

OK, OK, I'll still post reasons -- or more like my itinerary for the week. Maybe you can join me. And buy me a beer, of course. Or just give me a swig from your flask.

Today's Reason To Drink

I just heard about a last-minute concert scheduled for tonight. If this is your cup of tea -- Garrison Starr and Amanda Lucas & Audrey Cecil will be playing at the Kentucky Barbecue Co. (formerly Cafe Lou Lou, 1800 Frankfort Ave.) around 9pm. Tickets are a mere $10. Not bad for a high-caliber musician like Starr. Go on. Google her. I know you want to.

Today's Reason To Drink

Artie Lang is back on the Howard Stern show.

Bar Belle from 4/23/08 LEO

BY SARA HAVENS

Judging juleps

Last Thursday I was invited to be a judge at the fifth annual Four Roses Julep Recipe Contest at Sully’s. Ten bartenders from the city’s finest dining spots wooed and wowed us with their original spin on the popular Derbytime drink. What that meant for me was getting to sample (and sometimes finish) 10 delicious drinks. Some were sugar-rimmed. Some contained fruit. Some stayed close to the original recipe. Some hit to left field (Bailey’s was involved, that’s all I’ll say). I’m not going to lie to you and say it was tough. The only difficulty I had was keeping my scores inside the boxes and keeping away thirsty onlookers.

First place went to Jessica French of Varanese, whose Julep featured a dash of chai tea, lemon juice and basil. Silver went to Bourbon’s Bistro, and bronze to the Red Star Tavern.

I highly recommend a trip to Varanese (2106 Frankfort Ave., 899-9904) to sample the winning cocktail. That was one I had no problem finishing myself.


2 Pub Crawls!

Pick your poison carefully — there are two pub crawls this Saturday on opposite ends of town. First up is the bi-annual Schnitzelburg Walk in Germantown. Second is the J-Walk in Jeffersonville. The Germantown fest is more of an excuse to party outside than an actual mission-driven bar hop. Most of the small, neighborhood watering holes open up their patios and feature live music. If I remember correctly, several main streets are also closed, and drinking outside is actually encouraged.

The J-Walk, however, has a strict itinerary. Ten Jeff bars are involved this year, and two buses will transport malt-walkers from establishment to establishment. The starting line is at the Lighthouse Bar & Grill, and if you want the free T-shirt, it’s advised you get there around 6 p.m. Check out jwalkpubcrawl.blogspot.com for details.

Here’s to a happy Derby. Keep your spirits high, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Drop me a line at shavens@leoweekly.com or leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Tonight is the very first Waterfront Wednesday concert of the year. It's a week early this month because of Derby. But at least we've got beautiful weather today! The party starts at 5pm on Waterfront Park's Harbor Lawn. It's free. Tonight's lineup includes The Whigs, Wild Sweet Orange and Griffin House.

I'll be there, but unfortunately, I'll be working behind the bar. Come say hi.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's 72 degrees. If you're not outside, get there!

Today's Reason To Drink

I've only got 4 minutes to save the world.

Today's Reason To Shake

Wow. That's as much action my bed has seen all year!

I seriously thought the Devil was trying to possess me. Then I fell back to sleep.

Today's Reason To Drink

I'm going to be a judge in the Four Roses "Rose Julep Recipe Contest" tonight at Sully's. If you're bored, stop by -- it's from 5:30-7pm. I have no idea what to expect, but I'm hoping for free drinks.

Today's Reason To Drink

I'm in Bar Guide hell right now. You better appreciate it when it comes out April 30. Or use it to wipe your ass ... what do I care?

Today's Reason To Drink

Tuesday is a bitch. Not those yuppie-mall-walker types, but the ones you went to high school with. The ones who wouldn't let you sit at their table. Bitches!

Louisville wins "Twin City of Bushmills" contest

Bushmills master distiller Gordan Donoghue presented a $40,000 check to Mayor Jerry Abramson at a press conference at Metro Hall earlier this morning, where it was announced that Louisville won the nationwide “Twin City of Bushmills” contest. Half of the prize money will go toward Louisville’s annual Irish Fest and World Fest, and the other half will help fund responsible drinking programs throughout the city. No shots were served to the eager press, unfortunately.

In celebration of the 400th anniversary of its original license to distill, Bushmills searched for the “Twin City of Bushmills in America.” After narrowing to three finalist cities (Louisville, Boston and Portland, Maine), Bushmills asked Americans to choose the winner by voting online. More than 55,000 votes were cast, and Louisville emerged the winner. Mayor Abramson confessed he voted at least three times a day during the March contest.

Donoghue and Mayor Abramson also exchanged barrels of Bushmills Irish Whiskey and Kentucky bourbon to symbolize this new bond.

We Won!

Guess what ... Louisville won the Bushmills Twin City competition! There's going to be a press conference w/ the mayor today at 11:30 a.m. Looks like I'll have to throw my reporter hat on and cover it. Look for more details later.

Today's Reason To Drink

Coffee is my friend.

Today's Reason To Drink

I like how from this Saturday through May 4, all excuses for bad behavior in this town always begin like this: "Well, it is Derby time."

This excuse can be and is often used for the following:

-Missing work
-Hungover at work
-Sprained ankles
-Drinking on a Sunday night
-One-night stands
-Drunk dialing
-Drunk texting
-Buying a round of Jagerbombs for the entire bar
-Drinking top-shelf liquor
-Drinking in the daytime

Am I missing anything else?

Bar Belle from 4/9/08 LEO

BY SARA HAVENS

West Virginia on a whim

West Virginia isn’t the first place you think of when planning a weekend getaway with friends. New Orleans, Vegas, Ashville, Chicago and Memphis all land much higher on my list than Morgantown. But I wasn’t the one celebrating my birthday last weekend, so I had no say. Instead, my friends Courtney and Matt were the Aries in the bunch, and they decided to throw a dart at the map of the United States to pick our destination. Hence Morgantown, W.Va., home of the WVU Mountaineers. Apparently, Courtney doesn’t have good aim.

Not to say we didn’t have a good time. We drank our way up and down High Street and tried not to offend our sometimes-sports-rivals. The bar food was phenomenal — I had wings at three of the four pubs where we dined. The favorites were Gibbie’s, The Fish Bowl, Bugsy’s and Boston Beanery. And we couldn’t help ourselves from stopping by The Back Door both nights. Sure, it hardly had any similarities to our own beloved Back Door, but it just felt right being there. And they had $2 drafts and pizza by the slice.

Our gang of seven even managed to squeeze in a visit to the local winery, called Fork of the Cheat. I’ll admit Huber’s is far superior, but FOC had its charms from being tucked away on a windy, narrow mountain road. That’s where we met FOC owner Jerry Deal, “The only Deal in town,” he said, after advising us to buy Powerball tickets before we left the Mountain State.


Bushmills Update
For those asking about the results of the “Twin City of Bushmills” contest held in March — the counting is still under way, but the website promises they’ll have a winner (between Louisville, Boston and Portland, Maine) this month. I voted one last time on March 16, and we were clearly in the lead. Keep your fingers crossed.

Here’s to passing out before the fireworks Saturday! Boom me at shavens@leoweekly.com or leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Why does every organization, nonprofit, theater company, musical, art gallery, book store, bar, restaurant, flower store, health food store and dickhead have an event next week that they, of course, want listed in LEO free of charge? Seriously, there are a gazillion things going on April 16-23. Can't we spread it out. You're driving me insane! And you wonder why I drink so much.

Today's Reason To Drink

Word of the Day: Balls-Deep!

Examples of Usage:

"We're going balls-deep on this marketing project, boss."

"Go balls-deep, or go home."

"It may be time to balls-deep-six it and start over."

"Balls-Deep. 2 Excellent!"

Today's Reason To Drink

Why is Thunder Over Louisville a week early this year? I'm just not ready for all things Derby quite yet. Oh well, guess I'll be stumbling around the river on Saturday.

Today's Reason To Drink

Off to West Virginia tonight on a road trip/birthday party weekend. So I won't be posting tomorrow. But I'll have all the details on the various shenanigans that ensue in next week's Bar Belle. Lord help us.

Oh, and I hear Miller Lite is going to change their look soon. If it ain't broke, why fix it?

Today's Reason To Drink

Got to drink with Chelsea Clinton last night at the Pink Door! Well, I was the only one drinking, but it still counts, right? I blogged about it on LEO's News Blog -- click here for the details.

Notice in this picture it looks like she has no feet.

Today's Reason To Drink

I'm giving up drinking.

Today's Reason To Drink

Deep thoughts by Jack Handy:

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'"

Today's Reason To Drink

The Cards, sons! What a great game. Is anyone else still hungover? Saturday night's game against North Carolina is going to be a ball-breaker. We can do it, boys!

Today's Reason To Drink

We've got another birthday in the house ...

Happy Birthday to my friend, Matt Prybylski, aka The Dude.

His birthday is also a reason we're traveling to West Virginia next weekend. (Look for the roadtrip rehash in the next LEO Bar Belle column.)

Today's Reason To Drink

Happy Birthday to my friend, Courtney Sandora!

(I wanted to post a few photos, but didn't want to tarnish your upstanding image.)

Can't wait for our birthday journey to West Virginia!

Bar Belle from 3/26/08 LEO

The Bar Belle
BY SARA HAVENS

Chief Party Officer wanted

Get this. Churchill Downs is looking for an official Chief Party Officer for this year’s Kentucky Derby. The track is currently conducting a nationwide search for the ultimate partier, to be crowned “official host of the infield.”

Forget all that ceremonial bullshit — what do you get? Free beer for one. Free access to your own restroom in the infield. Four passes to the infield. Free food. And instant celebrity. Oh, and 500 bucks!

“The Kentucky Derby is one of the biggest social events of the year, and one of the best parties in the world,” said Brent Alexander, senior director of marketing for Churchill Downs. “What we are looking for is a character who represents all of the people in the infield and someone who really knows the meaning to the word ‘party.’”

Of course, they need look no further than right here (they had me at private restroom), but I’m willing to face competition. What’ll it be? A chug-off? Keg stand? Pub crawl?

OK, it’s none of those, unfortunately. But here’s what you have to do to be considered: 1) Create a 90-second video and upload it to YouTube.com; and 2) Fill out an application at www.kentuckyderby.com/infield.

There’s a comical video at www.youtube.com/kentuckyderby that details the rules and such. In it, a man who resembles Steve Carell says the Churchill Downs CPO should be able to take a quarter, bounce it on a table, and have it land anywhere she wants. Other examples of a worthy CPO are if your bar tab consistently exceeds your paycheck; if you have a special hangover concoction that bears your last name; and if everyone on the overnight shift at White Castle knows you by first name. Hmmm … I can relate to the bar tab experience, but I suck at Quarters.

When I asked Brent if he thought I had a shot, he said, “Has there ever been a time when the Bar Belle has chosen to not have a shot?” So true.

If you think you can beat me, I encourage you to apply. And if you win, I better be one of your four guests! You have till April 13 to get your video shot. Action!

Anyone wanna help me film my video? E-mail me at shavens@leoweekly.com

Today's Reason To Drink

I killed a rabbit on the way to the gym this morning! Awful, awful, awful! I heard the bones crunch under my car. I almost had to pull over because I thought I was going to get sick. I feel so bad. I hope it wasn't the Easter Bunny, although he forgot to visit my house this year.

R.I.P. little bunny.

Today's Reason To Drink

Despite the colder temperatures, I'm in a springy mood. The Cards are advancing. The sun is shining. I'm starting to have things to do on the weekends. I can almost smell the Derby approaching.

Yes it's a lame post. So what. Make up your own frickin' reason!

Today's Reason To Drink

Forgot to post yesterday -- I have an excuse, though. I had the day off! Time well spent recuperating on the couch. Cards game was incredible! I watched it at Dundee. Had to get there at 5 just to get a table! So now this means they're playing on Easter? Unfortunately, I'll be bartending at R Place that day and was planning on having a chick-flick marathon and hiding beer bottles throughout the bar. Looks like I might actually be busy. Damn.

Today's Reason To Drink

Who else has Good Friday off? Who else is ready to tear up the town tonight? I feel like I have a free pass, since I don't have to wake up early and pretend like my head is on straight.

And where are we watching the game tomorrow night? It's going to be a big one - if you want a seat at a bar in this town, you better be going out at 6pm at the latest.

I've been good all week. It's time to be bad. Well, as bad as my conservative upbringing will allow me.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's raining. Again. It's also the fifth anniversary of the Iraq War. How depressing.

Today's Reason To Drink

Just heard that Punky Brewster had a baby! That makes me feel old. And sober.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's St. Patrick's Day, of course. May you have the day off and be two pints of Guinness into your celebrations! I, on the other hand, am very sober and intend to stay that way. Saturday's activities just about did me in.

Today's Reason To Drink

Last night I somehow frequented a total of seven bars throughout the Highlands. It went something like this ...

Back Door (for gin and chili)
O'Shea's (for the Tapping of the Keg)
Dublin Cellar (looking for my friends Greg and Kevin)
Wick's (still looking for Greg and Kevin)
Flanagan's (finally found Greg and Kevin)
Dundee Tavern (to check in and say "hey" because I haven't been in awhile)
Pink Door (to play Rock Band, but unfortunately it wasn't set up, so I taught some dude the virtues of a beer and a sidecar -- and the beer was that nasty green shit! I hate that.)

Whew. No wonder my head is spinning and my liver's throbbing.

Blessing of the Keg

Looking for something to do? Stop by O'Shea's tonight for their annual "Tapping of the Keg" event at 6:30 p.m. Basically it's a reason to listen to Irish music, drink delicious BBC Bourbon Barrel Stout and hang out with cool Irish people. I'll be there, which I hope doesn't detract from its "coolness." Come have a pint or four.

Today's Reason To Drink

Today's Reason To Drink

Is your tolerance in shape for the St. Patty's long weekend? If you have to question, then you should be drinking right now.

Bar Belle from 3/12/08 LEO

Green and bear it

Are you ready for the best long weekend in Louisville? Yes, I know Derby is months away. I’m not talking about that binge-fest — because I believe that St. Patty’s weekend is far superior here. I always have more fun these next few days than I do trying to convince track-going out-of-towners that our city is one of the best places to cop a buzz.

With St. Patrick’s Day falling on a Monday this year, it’s going to throw a minor wrench into my level of debauchery (unless, of course, you’d be willing to overlook a few spelling, proofing and editing errors in next week’s LEO). (NOTE TO EDITORS: OnlLy kiding …) So that means I’ll just have to get it all out of my system this weekend. Which starts on Thursday, by the way.

The festivities begin Thursday night with the annual Ancient Order of Hibernians (aka local Irish dudes) “Blessing of the Beer” event where a keg of BBC’s Jefferson Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout is blessed by a real live priest at the BBC Taproom on Main Street (5 p.m.), and then carted over to O’Shea’s where thirsty blokes await (6:30 p.m.). There’ll be Irish music and food to keep you occupied between pints.

And on Saturday, we’ve got the annual Hibernians’ St. Patrick’s Parade that stumbles down Baxter and Bardstown Road in the Highlands (from Phoenix Hill Tavern to the Mid-City Mall) at 3 p.m. It is a family event, so bring the kids and teach them at a young age that it’s OK to run into the street for candy and beads. I’ll be on the R Place Pub float practicing my best pageant wave while thinking of anything other than my nagging full bladder.

In other green news, there’s currently a push by the esteemed folks at Guinness to make St. Patrick’s Day an official U.S. holiday — meaning you wouldn’t have to lie about taking the day off anymore. They need your support at http://proposition317.com.

If I bump into you or throw beads in your eyes this weekend, I didn’t mean it, I swear. But I’ll have another if you’d be so kind. E-mail me at shavens@leoweekly.com or check out my blog at leobarbelle.blogspot.com

Today's Reason To Drink

OK, well the concert last night wasn't too bad. Once Bret took the stage, he genuinely looked like he was still having fun. He sang most of the Poison hits -- including "Talk Dirty To Me," "Something To Believe In," "Every Rose Has A Thorn" and "Nothin But A Good Time." To hear those classics live is truly something to behold.

But the dude only played for about an hour and 15 minutes. That's it. I was home at 9:30pm! $27 for 75 minutes? Not sure it was worth it. The beer was only $2.50, though. So I was in high spirits.

All in all, I'd still Unskinny Bop him any time, any place.

Today's Reason To Drink

I'll admit it. I'm going to the Bret Michaels concert tonight at Caesars. A friend bought tickets a few months back -- and now the time has come. To tell you the truth, my soft spot for Bret died when the first "Rock of Love" aired on VH1 last year. I found him to be gross. Poison's Greatest Hits, though, are some of the most played on my iPod. So I'm going to attempt to put his recent shenanigans out of my mind tonight as I try to remember what 1988 truly felt like.

WTF?

OK, so I'm home at 10pm on a Friday. Drinking a Bud Select (last one from the party I threw 3 months ago!) and a sidecar of Woodford on the rocks, of course. Can't go to the bars because it's snowing. Unacceptable. (BTW- that took me three tries to spell correctly.) Listening to Lucinda Williams' "Those Three Days." How much more depressing can it get? I've e-mailed everyone I know on Myspace. This is lame!

Today's Reason To Drink

A Manhattan pub is banning the song "Danny Boy" for the month of March. Check out the story here.

I'm going to agree with this decision. Have you listened to the song? It's depressing. And it was written by an Englishman who never even went to Ireland. So I'm hereby banning it from being played in Louisville this month, especially next week, when St. Patty's activities shift into full gear. Can I get someone to second this declaration?

Here are the lyrics if you're curious:

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come you back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'tis I'll be there in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

Today's Reason To Drink

We're in the lead! Louisville is currently winning the Bushmills Sister-City competition. Read my last Bar Belle column below for details. Or better yet, just go vote. Click here.

Today's Reason To Drink

They had the entire '80s catalogue to choose from -- but the guys last night on "American Idol" sucked big time. What the hell? No hairbands? Instead, they did Wham and Lionel. No, no, no! Hopefully the girls will step it up tonight and kick ass. I'm rooting for the rock & roll nurse.

Today's Reason To Drink

Where'd my sunshine go? You were my promise of spring. Of life, warmth and activity. Did our time together mean anything to you? As I do the Walk of Shame through the rain, I curse myself for getting too close too soon.

Today's Reason To Drink

It's March! It's 64 degrees! The sun's out! The basketball tournament is gearing up! I need to go grocery shopping!

There -- there are your reasons to drink all week. Don't ever accuse me of not having my shit together.

Today's Reason To Drink

A new study just came out that basically says drinking alcohol makes the heart grow more sorrowful. In other words, if you're drinking to forget, it's not going to work. I'm not all that convinced. The study tortured rats for weeks to come to this conclusion. What could rats be drinking to forget? Having plagues blamed on them for centuries?

Of course we all know that drinking won't make our bad memories go away. The next day our issues will be front and center, along with a throbbing headache. But for four frickin' hours, we can be happy, jolly and, yes, forget about the dark clouds hovering above. You got a problem with that?

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, Velocity finally went after us this week in their "Winners/Losers" section. They made fun of last week's cover story on dog training. Well hell. You really got us on this one, let me tell you!

It occurred to me that maybe, like them, I should plant my finger firmly on the pulse of this city's movers and shakers (scenesters?) in my nightlife coverage. Maybe crash some parties at Fourth Street Live. Wear black pants and shiny shirts and choke down $10 martinis not made with gin or vodka but rather some nasty cherry-flavored liqueur and Sprite. Pay covers to listen to a DJ spin the same songs I stood on the wall to at my Prom.

But then, who would tell you about the $3 buckets of beer at the Dublin Cellar? How would you ever know about the 40-ounce, $2.25 bottles at Norm's off Fern Valley Road? Who would have ever ventured in to Big Al's Beeritaville and came out a regular?

I'm sorry, dear readers, that I'm not hip or trendy. I am cheap, though. And for that, I do not apologize.

Today's Reason To Drink

"I'd rather have 7 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." —Shelby (Julia Roberts), from the film "Steel Magnolias"

Bar Belle from 2/27/08 LEO

Louisville: Twin City of Bushmills

BY SARA HAVENS

Let’s shut our traps for a moment on the whole Barack-Hillary debate and cast our vote for something that really has some weight — Louisville has a one-in-three shot at being named “Twin City of Bushmills” and nabbing a $40,000 grant.

The competition marks the 400th anniversary of the license to distill, granted to the Northern Ireland region of Bushmills — home of Bushmills Irish Whiskey — in 1608. Cities across the United States entered, and Louisville was chosen as a finalist (along with Boston and Portland, Maine) based on its application on how it represents the four values of Bushmills: pride of place, hospitality, craftsmanship and humor.

Jeremy Morris, special events contractor for the Mayor’s Office for Community Relations & Events, filled out the four-page application and said it was easy to draw comparisons between Louisville and Ireland. “We have always had a historical link with immigration,” he said. And on the application under Pride of Place, Morris wrote: “People in Louisville celebrate their history and heritage with festivals like Oktoberfest, Irish Fest, Greek Fest, Italian Fest and WorldFest, and by giving their neighborhoods names like Germantown, Irish Hill, Paristown and Limerick.”

So how can you help seal this deal? Vote early and often at www.Bushmills400years.com. There’s even a free trip to Ireland up for grabs. You have until March 17 to vote, and the winner will be announced in April. As far as a citywide kegger/whiskey fest if we do win, Morris said probably not, but that half of the money will go to the Irish Fest and WorldFest folks, and the other half to responsible drinking programs. Bummer. But go vote! It’d certainly be a cool title to show off.


Buckets O’ Beer
I was at Willy’s, er, the Dublin Cellar last weekend and saw a sign for $3 buckets of beer. Usually when bars refer to buckets of beer, it means five or six bottles thrown into a bucket and covered with ice, so I was shocked at the low price tag. I quickly ordered a Bud Select bucket, and out came … a bucket of beer — about 32 ounces of draught beer served in a plastic pail, the kind you might build a sand castle with. It even had a handle! I felt special.

Tell me about your favorite bar at shavens@leoweekly.com or leobarbelle.blogspot.com