Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Bar Belle from 8/29 LEO

Underage bliss

An ominous e-mail came across the Bar Belle news desk warning Kentucky bars that ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Control) will be out in force these next few weeks targeting sales to minors and focusing especially on those watering holes situated near colleges and universities. With first-offense fines starting at $1,750, you can bet area bars will abide. (And you thought smoking was the biggest issue right now.)
As a bartender, this electronic threat should have shaken my corkscrew. But instead, it brought a smile to my face as I thought back to my own experiences as an underage drinker at Ohio University.
Of course, you could get your hands on a cup or two of Natty Lite at house parties, but as a freshman, the invites were few and far between. Some girls in my dorm had older siblings who would pick us up a bottle of Smirnoff vodka — but we could never count on it when we needed it. Then there were the fakes — hard to come by and risky to use. Lucky for us, OU had one beacon of hope for the under-21 hopeless — The Greenery, or “The Cheese” as we called it, referring to the thick film of sludge that would form on your shoes.
The Cheese served everyone, regardless of age. It was here I ordered my first ever drink from an impatient bartender. I remember tepidly approaching the bar like I was a child standing on the high-dive about to jump. I had no idea what beer to order, or even if I liked beer, so I nervously scanned the room and searched my memory for the name of a popular beer — Bud Ice it was. The Greenery seemed to exist just under the law — they knew when the police were making the rounds, and bartenders would storm through and knock your drinks into trashcans. The toilets and floors were always overflowing with vomit and urine and sludge, but it never bothered us. We had dancing to do and a tolerance to start shaping. Sadly The Greenery closed during my junior year, but the memories (and scars … did I mention the long staircase up to the dance floor?) will always remain. Long live The Cheese!

For details on my upcoming pub crawl (Sept. 8), check out my blog at

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, it's 15 pounds now that I've lost since giving up beer for a month. Crapola. I must have been drinking a shitload of beer. But I like beer. And I miss beer. I don't do well with just drinking gin or bourbon or red wine. The time-space continueum (sp?) is all messed up.

Well, maybe if I just delegate one night a week to beer, and then just stick to liquor the rest of the nights ... will that work? It's not like I drink every night. Just mostly Fridays and Saturdays ... oh, and I can't forget Thursday happy hours.

It all boils down to aging. Aging is God's way of telling us we're not special. Hmph.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

Why am I so afraid of bugs? Bugs can't drink beer.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

We're losing our interns! How the hell is the work gonna get done now? Shit.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

It's my friend Laura's birthday!

The bitch is still younger than me, though.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

My last day working at The Fair, and it's going up to 100 this afternoon. Great. I'll be shilling beer for the masses in the Q Tent. Great.

Yesterday's Reason To Drink


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

You can stand under my umbrella ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh ...

Monday, August 20, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

Went on a bar hop last Friday for "work" purposes. Really. Went to about 10 bars I've never been to before to write up a piece on each for a new publication coming out in the fall -- watch for it ... it's called UR Here. Anyway, out of the 10 or so bars, The Granville Inn was the best. I will be back. Reminded me of the bars in my college town (Athens, Ohio). Also reminded me how old I am. And reminded me that I will need to plan a trip soon back to Athens so I can forget how old I am.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Happy Birthday!

Forgot to say Happy Birthday to Madonna.

Best Album: Erotica
Best Song: "Get Into the Groove"
Best Movie: "Evita"/"A League of Their Own"

Today's Reason To Drink

Mark your calendars now --

My annual pub crawl is Saturday, Sept. 8. Read more about it in LEO -- I'll make it a "staffpick" in the Sept. 5 issue. 13 bars this year. Great shirts. Start building your tolerance.

Yesterday's Reason To Drink

No beer, no fried foods, one month -- I've lost 10 pounds!

What does this mean? I will never give up my beer. Perhaps I should delegate it to just one night -- like Friday is beer night, Saturday is wine/Jager night. Make sense?

What's a good mixed drink, besides the usual? I'm kinda getting tired of gin & tonics and bourbon & diets. Is this what drives people to drink scotch?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

How do I get an invite?

Posted today on

Good ol’ Larry (Birkhead) is planning a big ol’ birthday party for little Dannilynn in his hometown of Louisville, Kentucky, next month.

The September 8th festivities will be held at the place where Birkhead and Anna Nicole Smith first met: Tricia Barnstable Brown’s Lousiville home, site to a very posh annual Kentucky Derby party..

Says Tricia, “Something very magical will be happening at my house the first week of September, and it will be fit for a tiny little princess.”

Dannilynn will turn one, and no doubt Birkhead will use the opportunity to likely ca$h in!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

It's good to be home. Endured the inflated costs of big-city bars this weekend. Glad to be back to bourbon under 5 bucks.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

It's hot outside, you think?

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Monday, August 6, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

I was attacked by a bug last night -- a big, green, leggy, leaf-looking bug. I awoke to a bizarre clicking noise, and it wasn't my air conditioner. I turned on the lights, grabbed a fly swatter and saw the evil beast crawling up the curtains. I was panicked. Sweating. "Why don't I have a boyfriend for these exact occasions?!" I shouted. "Or even a dog ... fuck, I'll take a cat!"

After facing my fears and smashing the monster, I couldn't get to sleep for nearly two hours. I watched crappy TV shows ... with the lights on!

Bugs must die. Why must they invade my space?

I need a drink.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Today's Reason To Drink

I heard there are $2 Jagerbombs at Willy's tonight. Hmmm ... shall we investigate?

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Bar Belle from the 8/1/07 LEO

The Bar Belle

Buzz me two times
You can’t cop a buzz twice in one day. I proved that fact Friday when, on assignment, I “researched” the early-morning happenings at area third-shift bars. What I discovered I’ll share at another time. Most devastating was that I couldn’t re-coup later in the night from a pre-dawn buzz. Even with an enormous home-cooked meal at Norm’s and an afternoon nap, I couldn’t muster the desire to swill anymore. Does that mean I’m old?

A squirrelly Weasel Walk
As hundreds of eager pub-crawlers gathered Saturday night at the various St. Matthews bars participating in the annual WQMF Weasel Walk, they were met with an unfortunate, unexpected change — a $5 fee for a wristband that would essentially get you in to each of the seven establishments without paying a cover. Makes sense on paper, however, most of the bars in that area hardly ever charge covers, and the ones that do charge a fee for live music — Gerstle’s, Dutch’s — never had a problem in the past 10 years with walkers pit-stopping in for a quick brew. Shelling out dough for seven drinks, plus tip, certainly adds up. And the extra $5 only pissed people off to the extent that they skipped bars and doubled up at the next. One angered Weasel even vowed he’d skip next year’s. “It’s not these dumb shirts we’re after — that’s not why we do this,” he said on his way to Brendan’s. “It’s the challenge. The journey … hey … I love Journey!”

The QMF cronies explained that the $5 charge was a last-minute idea by the bars to offset the costs of people coming in and out of their establishment when they would usually charge a cover. They also hinted that the bars don’t care for walkers who run in for a quick stamp. Here’s a suggestion: have the card stampers stand outside of the venue. They’ll be able to satisfy the pathetic T-shirt mongers and leave room for people who don’t mind spending the money.

In my book, the Weasel Walk is merely a warm-up for the annual Gettin’ Drunky in KY/No Cover Walk (NCW) down Baxter and Bardstown Road (Sept. 8). I paid the $5. I bought drinks at each bar. I tipped. But I could also understand why so many people felt ripped off.

Did I mention the NCW is free? Stay tuned for details.

Tell me about your favorite happy hour

Today's Reason To Drink

It disturbs me when people say Cures Light instead of Coors Light.