Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Today is International Passion Day. Unfortunately, I won't be partaking.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

For the record, no one bailed me out when my tab went over $100 at O'Shea's one time. Where was the Federal Bail-Out then?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Fridays are God's way of saying, "Bear with me."

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Somebody was smoking with my lungs last night! Unacceptable!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bar Belle from 9/24/08 LEO Weekly

Ten Commandments of Drinking


While last Saturday’s Gettin’ Drunky in Kentucky was a success (read: we think most of the 50 or so walkers made it to Bearno’s in one piece), I violated some major rules when it comes to drinking, causing a week of shame, regret and a sense of overall douchebaginess. So I thought I’d create the Ten Commandments of Drinking so that others will not suffer the same fate. So that others will not awaken to a sent-message folder a mile long. So that others won’t have to look friends in the face and try to explain why they left “Eat a dick!” on their voicemail at 3 a.m. I think these should be posted in every watering hole across the nation. Read and obey, my drinking disciples.

1) Thou shalt have no other texts after midnight.

2) Thou shalt not act a fool in public — which includes but is not limited to foolish dancing (i.e. “The Running Man” or kicking in any fashion), face-chugging those thou hast no relations with and balancing beer bottles on thy head.

3) Thou shalt not take the name of the City Scoot in vain, for City Scoot will get you home without having to waketh up next to a stranger.

4) Remember: beer before liquor never sicker, to keep it holy.

5) Honor thy bartender and thy bouncer.

6) Thou shalt not kill a drink in less than 10 minutes.

7) Thou shalt not commit drunk dialing, even if it’s to friends on the West Coast. Oh, and I guess don’t commit adultery either.

8) Thou shalt not steal someone else’s drink or seat at the bar.

9) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor by speaking on off-limit topics like politics, religion and “Gossip Girl” when in the confines of a bar.

10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s beer, date or general sense of happiness and contentment. But if they’re being loud, thou can slap them.

Sara will see you in hell. Drop her a line at shavens@leoweekly.com

Today's Reason To Drink

My coffee tastes like poopy-shit.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Tired of dancing by yourself? I tried to get into the groove once but lost my footing.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

I've never been so happy to see a flashing time on my microwave. Power and stability were restored last night at mi casa ... after seven long days without.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

What is a hipster? Define it.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

I was wondering why I hadn't heard from my friends all week ... then news slowly started to trickle in that last Saturday night while I was highly intoxicated I allegedly went through just about every number in my phone and left weird, sometimes mean, totally random texts and/or voice mails and, in true idiot fashion, ended each one with "Eat a dick." Classy, eh? Oh, and it didn't stop at the phone. Turns out when I got home, I drunk MySpaced and Facebooked.

I have only myself to blame ... and that double shot at Wick's.

Here's to laying low. And begging forgiveness.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Listen up, betch — Kelly dishes out fashion advice


I got a few minutes with Kelly, so we had to talk shoes, of course. Here’s a list of 12 — some that suck and some that rule.

Reebok Cross-Trainers: Suck!

Tretorns: Rule!

Old-school Adidas, black and white striped: Rule!

Ironic hipster Nikes that look like they’re from 1984 but were actually made last week in China: Suck! Obvious suck!

Manolo Blahniks: Rule!

Boots with the furrrr: I’ll go with rule!

Jimmy Choos: Rule!

Birkenstocks: Suck! Unless you’re Aunt Susan, then they rule!

High-top pink Converse: Rule!

Jellies: Rule!

Crocs: Suck!

The standard flip-flop: I’m gonna go with rule, only because sometimes that’s all you feel like putting on. Especially at the beach. And the beach rules!

What music do you like?
I like Peaches because she’s rad.

Can I borrow that top?
Absolutely, but I’m not wearing one now.


See Kelly when she opens for Margaret Cho on Saturday, Sept. 20. Here are the details:

Margaret Cho w/ Liam Sullivan (and Kelly)
Saturday, Sept. 20
Louisville Palace
625 S. Fourth St.
$29.50-$42.50; 8 p.m.

Today's Reason To Drink

As your life is spiraling out of control, is it bad that you're watching it from the sidelines while sipping on a glass of Merlot?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Because it's fun to drink by candlelight?

Monday, September 15, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

No electricity. No Internet. No TV. Can't do laundry. Can't watch movies. Can't make food. I can at least open a bottle of wine.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Last Reminder

Today's Reason To Drink

Do you ever wake up feeling like you did something really bad the night before ... but at the moment you aren't sure what it is? It's like the guilt shows up before the memory.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Bar Belle from 9/10/08 LEO Weekly


Gettin’ Drunky in KY

This year, the annual Gettin’ Drunky in Kentucky pub crawl turns 5. As one of its founders (parents?), it makes me proud to see my baby all grown up. Well, he still stumbles and drools from time to time, but if you point him in the right direction, he’ll make it there, give or take a few spills.

I know there’s a shit-ton happening this weekend. Trust me when I say you’ll have the most fun if you join us on our march down Baxter and Bardstown (from Outlook Inn to Bearno’s Highlands … that’s 14 bars, Math Wiz) in the name of no cover charges.

Here’s the 411: How much? — Free, unless you want a T-shirt ($10). When? — Saturday, Sept. 13, 7 p.m., Outlook Inn (916 Baxter Ave.). Why? — Because you believe you can actually out-drink me, and I’d like to prove you wrong … or take you home.

In honor of our fifth anniversary, I wanted to say something nice about each bar we stumble into along our journey. Thanks for putting up with us, if even for 15 minutes.

Outlook Inn — Diggin’ the remodeling. Still love your Bloody Marys.

Flanagan’s — You’ve got my Blueberry Ale on tap, sweet Jesus. Love tryin’ your new beers on Thursdays.

Dublin Cellar — Still remember those free Irish Car Bombs.

Molly Malone’s — Your outside patio is heaven on a hot day.

O’Shea’s — Your cheese balls are the bomb — as are your beer selection and waitstaff.

Versatile — Looking forward to meeting you.

Wick’s — Thanks for keeping prices low and beer cold.

Cahoots — Keep it dark, boys. Keep it cool.

BW3’s — Spicy Garlic is the best.

Akiko’s — I sang. I sucked. I conquered.

NV Tavern — Jo makes the best bourbon sweet teas! Have ’em ready, girl.

Highlands Taproom — Where’d my mug go?

The Back Door — My second home. Dibs on the couch.

Bearno’s Highlands — Land ahoy! Good ’za, good beer.

I suggest training now … get that tolerance in shape! Questions? E-mail me at shavens@leoweekly.com

Today's Reason To Drink

Bad day ... and it's not even 11 a.m. yet.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, we didn't get vaporized today ... so I have this hangover for nothing! Damn.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Were you aware that this could be the last day on Earth? Click here for details.

So, what do you say about partying like it's 1999 and the end of the world as we know it? I guess I basically exercised for nothing this morning. And that doughnut I passed up ... damn! Guess we'll never make it to the pub crawl this weekend. Or to see if 90210 actually makes it to another season.

I love you all! Anyone got a smoke?

Monday, September 8, 2008

6 days and counting ...

Today's Reason To Drink

Last night's MTV VMAs made me feel old. What's a Jonas Brother? When did Ashlee Simpson get knocked up? How did Britney get "legend" status? I made it to Pink and then had to go to bed. That's what happens when you're old and lost your promise ring in the '90s.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

All you need is love ... and if it takes the form of a make-out session in a bathroom, so be it.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Couple things going on tonight of interest:

Louisville Homegrown Music Series: Featuring Ben Sollee and Wodka, The Instruction; 7 p.m.; free; Fourth Street Live


Singer-songwriter Teneia Sanders at The Pink Door; 10:30 p.m.; free

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Jon's back in production! I've got three vacation days that I have to use this month! It might rain (my car needs washed)! I like using unnecessary exclamation points!!!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Monday, September 1, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

It's September already! Fall is almost here. And my pub crawl is almost here.

(Remember: Sept. 13 ... don't plan anything that night! The bar-hop starts at 7 at Outlook Inn. Details to come.)