Thursday, July 31, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

The parental units are coming in tonight to help me find the source of a leak. Which means no Back Door. And no Pink Door. Arg.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bar Belle from 7/30/08 LEO Weekly

Beer and butterflies ...


Sometimes, sitting at your favorite bar and knocking back a few beers can get boring. So one late evening three years ago, a friend and I came up with the Dundee Tavern Challenge. We were about six beers in, twiddling our thumbs, staring at the 20 taps that towered above. “Wonder how long it’d take to drink one beer from each tap,” I mumbled. “I bet if we split it, we could do it in one night,” she challenged. And so it began, our yearly ritual of drinking all 20 beers (10 each) on draft at the Dundee Tavern. This year we had six participants, with only four finishing and two ending the night at Twig & Leaf.

On paper, 10 beers doesn’t sound intimidating. But these are pints, and a majority are imported, heavy beers — like Rogue Dead Guy, Hefeweizen and Shiner Bock. My tolerance is definitely something I take pride in, but by beer four, let’s just say I was feeling it. I documented the experience this year with a digital recorder, hoping that our many discussions would lead to interesting revelations or musings about world events. Instead, what I transcribed Monday morning included an incoherent discussion on Tori Spelling and dick jokes.

One participant, who we’ll call C-Town, even brought an “activity” to keep us occupied. She recently attended a Life Coach seminar at a friend’s house and figured it would be fun to share her therapeutic knowledge with a bunch of drunks. The first task was picking out an “affirmation” that best applied to you. It wasn’t three beers later that we decided to add the phrase “in bed” after our affirmations. Mine: “People love me for who I am … in bed.” Someone else’s: “My family honors me, loves me and respects me … in bed.” We pretty much ended the Life Coaching after task 2, which involved drawing a butterfly that resembled yourself.

The night’s activities progressively got hazier as the beers went down. Alls I know is I finished. And I’m now on a hiatus from beer.

What color is the sky in your butterfly’s world? E-mail me at or go to

Today's Reason To Drink

Once again, I'll be bartending at Waterfront Wednesday tonight. The lineup includes the Shake Anderson Band, Danielia Cotton and Dave Barnes. It's free, so unless it rains, you have no excuse not to be there (and tip me).

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

So check this out ... you can order the world's largest beer at the Heartland Brewery in New York. The "Beer Goddess" pilsner is a 3-liter glass that holds about eight bottles worth of beer. Just imagine how warm the beer would be when you finally get to the bottom. Another downside: It's a steep $49, and you don't even get to keep the glass! Bummer.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Top Party Schools - OU is No. 5!

Well, well. Once again, my college made the Top 10 list of biggest party schools. It brings a tear to my eye. Like a proud mamma watchin' her baby do his first keg stand.

The following is a list of the top party schools in the nation, according to the Princeton Review's annual survey.

1. University of Florida, Gainesville, Fla.

2. University of Mississippi, University, Miss.

3. Penn State University, University Park, Pa.

4. West Virginia University, Morgantown, W.Va.

5. Ohio University, Athens, Ohio

6. Randolph-Macon College, Ashland, Va.

7. University of Georgia, Athens, Ga.

8. University of Texas, Austin, Texas

9. University of California-Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, Calif.

10. Florida State University, Tallahassee, Fla.

11. University of New Hampshire, Durham, N.H.

12. University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa

13. University of Colorado, Boulder, Co.

14. Indiana University, Bloomington, Ind.

15. Tulane University, New Orleans, La.

16. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Urbana, Ill.

17. Arizona State University, Tempe, Ariz.

18. University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Tenn.

19. University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Ala.

20. Loyola University-New Orleans, New Orleans, La.

Today's Reason To Drink

I've got a mosquito bite on my neck that resembles a hickey. If only it was a hickey ...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

You can Twitter my Yahoo, but don't forget about the Google.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

So I hear there's a new Irish pub going in at Fourth Street Live. It appears to be part of a chain called Ri Ra and will open this fall. Although I'm always weary of chains, the good news is they're going to have a once-a-week live music night featuring local and national acts. Deal.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Friends don't let friends drink white zinfandel.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

The crushed ice at the Monkey Wrench is the bomb. Makes mixed drinks taste even better ... especially gin & tonics and margaritas.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Training for the 4th annual Dundee Challenge begins today. On Friday, as a team of two people, we will drink one pint of every tap at Dundee Tavern. There are 20 taps. 10 beers each. Bring it on. Anyone want to join?

Friday, July 18, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Just about to begin a roadtrip with the parents for 5 hours. iPod check. One, two. One, two.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Beer is food.
Beer is love.
Beer is a best friend.
Beer is never having to say you're sorry.
Beer is your mom.
Beer is Batman.
Beer is the newly-single Sarah Silverman.
Beer is good.
Beer is coffee.
Beer is all-knowing.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Say you're due to go out of town this weekend for a cousin's wedding. And you gotta leave on Thursday. Would that technically make tonight a "Friday" in the eyes of the Going-Out Gods?

Bar Belle from 7/16/08 LEO Weekly

You might be hungover if …


•After 35 minutes, you still can’t find that damn little coffee guy in The Coffee News.

•You wake up with your clothes still on, contacts still in, surrounded by Taco Bell wrappers.

•You’d choose a glass of water over a bottle of Grey Goose.

•You can’t form compound sentences.

•Conjugating verbs is out of the question.

•By the time you compose yourself and prepare to enter the outside world, it’s already nighttime.

•The numbers on your alarm clock are way too bright.

•You utter, and seriously believe, the following four words: I’m. Never. Drinking. Again.

•You experience PTSD-like flashbacks of the previous night’s debauchery throughout the day.

•After checking your phone’s outgoing messages, you experience deep text regret.

•You can’t get your contacts out because your hands are shaking.

•You believe the only cure is a fountain Coke from McDonald’s.

•You know you should feel embarrassed, but you’re not sure why.

•Your ankle is swollen and your pride is bruised.

•You think perhaps busting out the running man while dancing on the platform at Connections may not have been the best idea of the night (see previous entry).

•You make a list of hangover symptoms for your column that’s due in an hour.

All-Star Cocktail

Something major is happening at Slugger Field tonight, and they’re naming a drink after it. The Triple-A All Star Game begins at 7:05 p.m. The “All-Star Cocktail,” the event’s signature drink, consists of Old Forester bourbon (ironically first bottled in 1870, the same year pro baseball began), lemonade and orange juice and garnished with a cherry. Now you’ve piqued my interest! Let’s play ball.

E-mail or go to

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

If you drink your old beer, you can buy new beer. And speaking of new beer -- the Blueberry Ale on tap at Flanagan's is ggrrreeeaaatttt, as Tony the Tiger would say.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Bud goes Belgian?

Anheuser-Busch was sold yesterday to Belgian brewer InBev for $52 billion. That's a big chunk of change. So does this mean it'll no longer be American-made? What's going to be St. Louis' claim to fame? What's for sale next? Baseball? Cherry pie? Madonna?

Today's Reason To Drink

If WTF merged with BTW and BYOB, we'd have BTWBYOFBWT.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Shit the bed ... I took today off, so I forgot to post a reason to drink. Hopefully all you wankers found your own reason ... I went to the Reba concert at Caesars, er, Horseshoe, so I had a good time, I think. Kelly Clarkson made an appearance ...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Almost forgot to post today ... found an all-ABBA channel on my Sirius radio! Howard Stern's on vacation, so this will kindly fill his place. Ballz-deep!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

In the words of the venerable and venereal Harry Caray: If the moon was made of cheese, would you eat it?

I say, only if the oceans were full of Merlot.

Hey! I'm a Cubs fan and a Bud man. Heyyy!

Happy birthday, Max.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Anyone see "The Bachelorette" last night? She picked the wrong tool. The "rad" snowboarder over the yuppie dad? What was she thinking?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

I got attacked by mean mosquitos this weekend ... and now my legs look like a strawberry patch ... a deadly, itchy, scary strawberry patch.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Happy Fourth of July! May the loud, costly fireworks drive home that patriotic spirit. Yeehaw!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

It's a four-day week, so technically today is like a Friday. Except that I have to bartend down at the Waterfront both tonight and tomorrow. Guess my only night to play is Saturday ... so what's going on?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Bar Belle from 7/2/08 LEO Weekly

Ode to R Place

After nine years of doing time behind the bar at R Place Pub, I’m hanging up my bottle opener and calling it quits. I like bartending, don’t get me wrong. And I love R Place, with its hodgepodge of devoted regulars and loyal staff. I just need my weekends to be free so I can, you know, do more research on the other side of the bar for this column.

When I told some of my regulars a few weeks ago that July 6 would be my last day, they scurried back to their table and quickly concocted this plan: They’d drive from Lyndon to the Highlands to pick me up in the morning and send me home in a taxi that night — after successfully and soberly completing my shift, that is. I was genuinely touched by their offer but reminded them that I have this other job Monday morning that requires me to fire on all cylinders — it’s no good starting the week off with a hangover, I’ve learned.

Here’s what I’ll miss the most: My boys Sled, Scooter, Dennis and Greg who keep me company on boring Sunday afternoons. Phil’s cheese fries. My fellow bartenders, most of whom have been there longer than me, like Leigh and Jen, and the ones who keep it interesting, like Heather, Don, Stacy and Greg. Owners Cres and Scott, who were patient with me from the beginning, when I was the slowest, greenest bartender ever. The savage Steelers fans who fill up the bar during football season (hey, Tom and Rosemary, save me a seat!). And the great gatherings, like the staff Christmas party, riding on the St. Patrick’s float and Thunder Over Louisville (hope I’m still invited).

Magic Hat #9 — good beer

If you like Blue Moon, you gotta try Magic Hat #9. It’s got a little hint of apricot and is tasty and refreshing, especially in this sticky summer weather. I know they have it at O’Shea’s, Flanagan’s, Brendan’s and the Hideaway. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy you a Jagerbomb and make fun of your taste in beer.

The R Place cheese fries are seriously one of Louisville’s best-kept secrets. E-mail me at or check out

Today's Reason To Drink

The sun seems really bright today. Is it just me?

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

So I get a call last night at 2am from my drunken friends who are vacationing in Alaska. Apparently they couldn't do the math to figure out that although it may be 10pm and still daylight where they're at, it's 2am here. They called to tell me they were enjoying a Maker's Mark, so all was forgiven.