Friday, February 29, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

A new study just came out that basically says drinking alcohol makes the heart grow more sorrowful. In other words, if you're drinking to forget, it's not going to work. I'm not all that convinced. The study tortured rats for weeks to come to this conclusion. What could rats be drinking to forget? Having plagues blamed on them for centuries?

Of course we all know that drinking won't make our bad memories go away. The next day our issues will be front and center, along with a throbbing headache. But for four frickin' hours, we can be happy, jolly and, yes, forget about the dark clouds hovering above. You got a problem with that?

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Well, Velocity finally went after us this week in their "Winners/Losers" section. They made fun of last week's cover story on dog training. Well hell. You really got us on this one, let me tell you!

It occurred to me that maybe, like them, I should plant my finger firmly on the pulse of this city's movers and shakers (scenesters?) in my nightlife coverage. Maybe crash some parties at Fourth Street Live. Wear black pants and shiny shirts and choke down $10 martinis not made with gin or vodka but rather some nasty cherry-flavored liqueur and Sprite. Pay covers to listen to a DJ spin the same songs I stood on the wall to at my Prom.

But then, who would tell you about the $3 buckets of beer at the Dublin Cellar? How would you ever know about the 40-ounce, $2.25 bottles at Norm's off Fern Valley Road? Who would have ever ventured in to Big Al's Beeritaville and came out a regular?

I'm sorry, dear readers, that I'm not hip or trendy. I am cheap, though. And for that, I do not apologize.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

"I'd rather have 7 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." —Shelby (Julia Roberts), from the film "Steel Magnolias"

Bar Belle from 2/27/08 LEO

Louisville: Twin City of Bushmills


Let’s shut our traps for a moment on the whole Barack-Hillary debate and cast our vote for something that really has some weight — Louisville has a one-in-three shot at being named “Twin City of Bushmills” and nabbing a $40,000 grant.

The competition marks the 400th anniversary of the license to distill, granted to the Northern Ireland region of Bushmills — home of Bushmills Irish Whiskey — in 1608. Cities across the United States entered, and Louisville was chosen as a finalist (along with Boston and Portland, Maine) based on its application on how it represents the four values of Bushmills: pride of place, hospitality, craftsmanship and humor.

Jeremy Morris, special events contractor for the Mayor’s Office for Community Relations & Events, filled out the four-page application and said it was easy to draw comparisons between Louisville and Ireland. “We have always had a historical link with immigration,” he said. And on the application under Pride of Place, Morris wrote: “People in Louisville celebrate their history and heritage with festivals like Oktoberfest, Irish Fest, Greek Fest, Italian Fest and WorldFest, and by giving their neighborhoods names like Germantown, Irish Hill, Paristown and Limerick.”

So how can you help seal this deal? Vote early and often at There’s even a free trip to Ireland up for grabs. You have until March 17 to vote, and the winner will be announced in April. As far as a citywide kegger/whiskey fest if we do win, Morris said probably not, but that half of the money will go to the Irish Fest and WorldFest folks, and the other half to responsible drinking programs. Bummer. But go vote! It’d certainly be a cool title to show off.

Buckets O’ Beer
I was at Willy’s, er, the Dublin Cellar last weekend and saw a sign for $3 buckets of beer. Usually when bars refer to buckets of beer, it means five or six bottles thrown into a bucket and covered with ice, so I was shocked at the low price tag. I quickly ordered a Bud Select bucket, and out came … a bucket of beer — about 32 ounces of draught beer served in a plastic pail, the kind you might build a sand castle with. It even had a handle! I felt special.

Tell me about your favorite bar at or

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

How do you know if someone is hitting on you? Are they just being friendly? Is it all in your head?

When God was handing out the ability to flirt, I thought he said dirt, and I said, "No thanks. Don't want to get messy."

Monday, February 25, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Bored? Lonely? Check out this show tonight:

Sex Workers Art Show

Strippin’ ain’t easy, ya’ll. Just remember that next time you find yourself in the back room of P.T.’s with a stash of cash. Some call it exotic dancing, some call it a way to make a living. Sadly, the industry is often stigmatized with labels like “whore,” “unintelligent” and “perverse.” The touring Sex Workers Art Show is trailblazing across this great nation to prove those generalizations wrong. You can call them dirty, but please don’t call them uncreative. The cabaret-style show features a mishmash of spoken word, music, drag and burlesque from people working in all areas of the sex industry — and that includes strippers, prostitutes, dommes, porn stars, phone sex operators and Internet models. What? Names? OK — how about burlesquer Miss Dirty Martini, feminist author Chris Kraus (“I Love Dick”), porn star Lorelei Lee and dominatrix Keva I. Lee. Tour founder and director Annie Oakley leads the three(cock)-ring circus, so be ready for anything. Oh, and it’s best to check your inhibitions at the door.

Club Fuzion
1335 Story Ave.
$15; 9 p.m.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Tomorrow's Reason To Drink

Hey all --

My friend Kevin is in a band -- The Uncommon Houseflies. It's a cool band. So cool they're almost uncool. Anyway, they're playing Saturday night at the Highlands Tap Room (1279 Bardstown Road, 459-BEER) at 10 p.m. And it's free, bitches! That's right. I said it. Free. So come join me and buy me a beer or two. I'll try to be on my best behavior. Or not.

Click on the link and check them out.

Today's Reason To Drink

Ice ice baby. Too cold. Too cold.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Oh. My. Gawd! It's snowing. It's icing. Let's get to the grocery store and buy bread and milk! Let's freak out and close schools! Let's drive like maniacs in our over-sized SUVs!

Does this mean happy hour is off?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

As reported on NPR this morning: Sheraton hotels recently hired a Chief Beer Officer (CBO) for its new worldwide beer program. They got more than 7,000 applications for the position. Sadly, mine was not among the finalists. They probably found out I rendezvous with Miller Lite on occasion. Damn!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

A month from now St. Patrick's Day will have passed. Let the training begin!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Someone over the weekend told me I was the "bees knees." What does that even mean? And why is this man stalking me?

Friday, February 15, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Had the pizza at Flanagan's last night -- and it was really good. I've had it before, but last night it just tasted great. Cheers to Flanagan's pizza!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Today's Reason To Get Shit-Faced

I don't believe in love. Never been in love. So this day is death to my black, black heart. I can only think of one place, one drink, that can remedy this depression: New Amsterdam gin & tonic from the Back Door. I'll be there at 5:15 sharp. Please have a few lined up.

Sing these lyrics out loud in honor of this wretched day:

I'm through with love
I'll never fall again.
Said adieu to love
Don't ever call again.
For I must have you or no one
And so I'm through with love.

I've locked my heart
I'll keep my feelings there.
I have stocked my heart
with icy, frigid air.
And I mean to care for no one
Because I'm through with love.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Bar Belle from 2/13/08 LEO


Snatch happens

My purse got swiped Thursday night, sons, and it ain’t no joke. I’ve been through all five stages of grief, and now I’m just pissed. The perps didn’t get much except for my pickle-shaped maraca that I like to pull out on occasion to play along with the band. No cash. No iPod. No sordid black book. Luckily I had a credit card at the bar (hence the no cash part) and my cell phone and keys in my pockets. I would love it, however, if they’d return my beloved Monica Lewinsky purse along with my wallet and business card holder, which has sentimental value. Oh, and the $30 gift card from Dundee Tavern would be nice to have back, too. I got that for my birthday, bitches!

Why is this nonsense in a bar column, you ask? Well, I just wanted to remind the ladies to keep your purse with you at all times. Even in the safest of safe places — even in a room full of gay men, as was my case — there’s always that one yahoo who’ll ruin it for everyone. I’ve got my eye on you, purse snatcher! I know who you are, where you live and what you eat for breakfast. You’re toast.

Beer prices … falling?

Yes, you read that right. I heard from a close source that the price of domestic draught beer at the Outlook Inn has fallen. That’s great news for American piss swillers like myself. The Outlook has always been a bit pricey on drinks, even for the Highlands. But with a cool jukebox and a laid-back atmosphere, that never really kept me away. I mean, who has a better bathroom and Bloody Mary than the Outlook? So, thanks, Outlook people, for your random act of kindness. Next round’s on me!

If you spot someone with a Lewinsky purse shaking a pickle, let me know at

Today's Reason To Drink

There's nothing better to do when you're stuck in a snow globe.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

For those of us who made it out to the Ingrid Michaelson show last night -- it was worth it! It was a full house at the 930 Listening Room in Germantown -- and Ingrid played and chatted for more than two hours.

Just the basics -- an acoustic guitar, keyboard and backup singer. She saved her hit, "The Way I Am," for the end, followed by an encore of covers, including "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" theme song and Elvis' "Can't Help Falling in Love."

Among her between-song banters, she observed that Kentucky drivers do not know how to drive in snow. That's so true, unfortunately. (I'm from Ohio, I have to agree with her.) Ingrid also provided details and inspirations for each song she performed. It was interesting, engaging and very entertaining.

My only complaint: What's up with this 930 venue? No bar? I know it's attached to a church and all, but bummer.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Cold again. Gloomy again. Depressed again. I don't really think I like February much. I mean, look how it's spelled. Give me a break.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

My Monica Lewinsky purse got stolen last night. Bitches!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Because salsa is spicy.

(It's a Puerto day here at LEO!)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

You say Obama. I say Clinton.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Happy Super Fat Tuesday! If I could be anywhere right now, it'd be saddled up to the bar at the Tropical Isle in New Orleans. I've spent many an afternoon there -- socializing, schmoozing and, of course, drinking their most infamous drink, the Hand Grenade. No one has ever identified its ingredients, but its ingredients will get you buzzed and beyond in less than four sips.

My friend and I made a list of 10 things we'd like to do before we die -- and one of them was drink 5 of these very Grenades in one sitting. I'm happy to report we succeeded in our mission two years ago. It took lots of training and stamina, but we survived. Our livers took most of the brunt; but luckily those things heal ... I hope.

In honor of Fat Tuesday, here's a link to a live web cam at the Tropical Isle. Look, laugh and long to be there -- and hopefully you won't see your mom flashing her ta-tas.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

I'm tired, but man that was a great game last night! Happy to see the underdogs pull out a victory. Go Giants!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Today's Reason To Drink

Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings play tonight at Headliners. Be there, sons!

Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, Ivan Milev Band & DJ Kim Sorise
Friday, Feb. 1
Headliners Music Hall
1386 Lexington Road
$12; 9 p.m.